Thursday, December 19, 2013

The 12 Days of Christmas

On the 12 days of Christmas, my TV gave to me...

12 Koopa Troopas
11 Identity Discs
10 Hedgehogs a Running
9 Cans of Spinach
8 Robot Masters
7 Pokeballs
6 Elements of Harmony
5 Teen Titans
4 Ninja Turtles
3 Sailor Senshi
2 Disney characters
and a repaired Planet Express ship.

Thank you! You're all too kind! Now before I go, I have a few announcements.

First of all, the second part of my Eevee and Friends review will be a little late since the short has been taken off So just be patient.

Also, I'll be doing a Q&A in a couple days starting what I call Post-Christmas. You can ask me questions like "What got you into Pokemon" or "What's your favorite video game based cartoon". Just ask me anything as long as there's no flaming

I've also decided to amp up my deviantArt account by uploading memes so you can check out my page right here. Don't be shy, I got a lot of stuff you should see.

Well, that's all I have for now. So......

Porky Pig: Adededededede..that's all folks!

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Eevee and Friends review (part one)

Hey there nice ladies and puppy boys! I'am gonna review a cute little Pokeyman short! Okay, I won't use my new found Jerry Lewis impression for this post. Today, I'm going to review a little Pikachu short called "Eevee and Friends" that showed before Genesect and the Legend Awakened in Japanese theaters but wasn't show with said movie when it aired on Cartoon Network. But I found it on recently and now I'm going to review it. So pull out your Eevee and enjoy!

The short starts with the Pokemon of our heroes from the anime, Pikachu, Oshawott, Axew and Pansage. They are adorably playing in a field one day and stumble in a beautiful field of flowers. Pikachu then hears something and it turns out to be Generation 6's very own Sylveon, the Intertwining Pokemon. Sylveon leads them to her home where also lives her fellow Eeveelutions, where they'll have a party and sleepover later in the short.

The first to be introduced is the one and only Eevee who stumbles into Axew, who both playfully tackle each other. The second to be introduced is the affectionate Jolteon who starts up a recurring theme of Oshawott being the butt monkey by hugging him, electrocuting the Sea Otter Pokemon. As Jolteon, Axew and Eevee playfully chase each other into the house, Oshawott grumpily dashes after them with Pikachu, Pansage and Sylveon in hot pursuit. The Pokemon and audience find themselves in the room of Ice-type Glaceon, who makes beautiful ice sculptures.

With Oshawott still red with anger while chasing he accidentally smashes into them, thus causing Glaceon to freeze him to death. Naw, he actually survived after that and is still mad at them. We then cut to the Grass-type Leafeon, who covers Oshawott in leaves for shaking his leaf bridge. Axew then races into a dark caves where he sees glowing rings walking towards him, he is frightened making him run for his life when the rings actually belong to Dark-type Umbreon. Axew then sees the leaf-covered Oshawott and runs away alongside Eevee and Jolteon.

Umbreon then gestures towards where they went to Pikachu, Pansage and Sylveon, where we find the shy Fire-type Flareon. When nervous, Flareon's temperature rises up, thus causing Oshawott's leaf get up to burn up. Our friends then fall in a stream where they playfully yell until they fall into a pond where we see Psychic-type Espeon looking at her reflection ala the Greek myth Narcissus.

 Well, that's all I have for now. Join me next time where I look at it more.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Saturday at Grandma's

Saturday night, Jack and I stayed over at Grandma's because Mom and Dad went to a party with Auntie Jen and Uncle Chris.

We had Culver's for dinner. (cheeseburger, fries, ice cream, YUM!)

Jack slept on the couch in the living room while I slept in Uncle Sean's room because I was getting too big for the small couch. I told mom I could sleep with my legs bent, but she told me to pick another sleeping place. I watched the Simpsons Movie and Pokemon on Uncle Sean's TV and DVD player.

Jack didn't watch anything. He was busy reading a book about Jesus. Jack says the power of Christ doesn't compel me, because I am not currently demonically possessed. Good to know.

I love staying over at Grandma's. We used to go there for Christmas Eve, but MOm got tired of cooking 2 big meals in a row (since Christmas dinner is at our house) so now we go to a restaurant near Grandma's house. Mom makes us get all dressed up.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Andy

There's this Sound of Music thing on NBC right now. And being a musical, they can never stop singing. There are a lot of musical films out there that time the songs, take Beauty and the Beast for example they have songs every couple minutes or Annie, which I hated because there's a song every 2 seconds.

Also, the songs can really go on for quite some time and double the length of the musical. If you think Annie was bad, check out this. They also got the whole "doe ray me fa so la ti do" thing all wrong and now it's "doe me fail sot we ho". It seems they can never get any effort into this. All of Mom's Facebook friends are ranting about the sound in this because all the background noise is just a white noise I think. Also the costumes are so like 1920s-ish. I can't take anymore of this! It's even more painful than Johnny Test and Sid the Science Kid combined!

My rating: 2.5/10 stars. I recommend watching the movie than this piece of holy trash.  I am out of HERE!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Art Institute

Today, my class took a field trip to the Art Institute.  It was mostly good.

My favorite things:

The Herring Net and Distant View of Niagara Falls. We studied those ahead of time at school, so it was cool to see them in person.

The Thorne Rooms. Miniature rooms of different time periods and places, like California, Virginia and New Mexico. My mom loves the Thorne Rooms, too. So do her friends Wendy and Lizz!

Chagall's Windows. Lots of pretty colors and patterns and pictures.

Not favorite things:

The second floor. I didn't like the second floor. It was too high up. I freaked out a little bit and told my teacher I wanted to be back on terra firma. She told me we would be back on the ground soon.

We ate lunch in an education room. That was okay.

Mom says if she takes me back there, we will study more paintings ahead of time. She also has a book about the Thorne Rooms she says I can read.

Our next field trip is to see the Hubbard Street Dance Company next Friday!

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Blogging in Bed

Well, it's only 9:49pm so I better do a blog post. I forgot to do it earlier, so mom tossed a computer at me and said "get writing."

Tomorrow is our field trip to the Art Institute. I hope it is awesome and not boring. It's a famous art museum.

Mom was at Misericordia today, being a waitress. She says when I am old enough, I can be a waiter. I think this is a good idea, maybe. I told her that serving all that food might make me hungry, but she said I would get lunch.

Speaking of Misericordia, I'd like to give a big shout out to Mike McD! He is a regular volunteer at Mis and a regular reader of this blog!

GoodNIGHT, already.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Christmas, don't be late!

I'm so excited for Christmas. I've got a lot of stuff on my list but not too much or too little, but just right. My granny got me a TMNT ornament featuring Donatello so I thought she knows me so well.  I also want a Nintendo 3DS along with Pokemon X and Kingdom Hearts 3D. Come Christmas Eve, the tree shall shine, the cookies and milk shall be snacked on and the halls will be decked.......if we have any.

I've been very good this year well, mostly good but I don't want to talk about it. For now, I just want it to snow. All that white, fluffy, watery goodness has to come tomorrow. Also, as every year there is a brunch at Misrecordia, the place where my Mom works at. My uncle Sean is always there so that's why he has a fire alarm in his house. I'm really excited so I better prepare.

Well, guess I better get going now. And as always, I gotta juice!

Monday, November 25, 2013

Planet Pringle

In a time when the universe was still young there was a single spark, an orange spark that is. It kept growing until it reached full size and several bendy chips flew out of craters and became stars. 3,0000 years later a large comet came crashing onto the strange planet. A glowing man in a grey cloak arose from the meteor and took a bite out of the place and loved it so much, he decided to call it "Pringle" and brought home lots for his people and the stars.

In 1976, a small indie snack food company called Bernice and Robbie's was looking for its next project. One man named Horace Gables then explained about the Pringle planet to his coworkers and with a simple exclamation of "A far-off planet made of Pringles? GADZOOKS!" they instantly assembled a team of astronauts from NASA to go and examine the strange new thing and bring back findings for their new product "Pringles from SPACEEE!" In 1982, P&G approved of the product and made it a new brand with a Cheesy-Q flavor, which was the flavor of the planet from whence the chip was discovered.

It later became a smash hit until 1996, when Bernice and Robbie's went out of buisness due to high funds but a small vault. Many people thought it was ridiculous to close because of a miniscule vault. Cheesy-Q Space Pringles later earned its name in snack food history as one of the greats and Horace Gables even won a Nobel Prize for Space Discovery & Popular Snack Production. In 2012, Kellogg's bought the rights for Pringle production from P&G but have no plans to make more Cheesy-Q Space Pringles.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Hockey time!

The Blackhawks are playing in Winnipeg, Canada. This is Jonathan Toews's home town! Winnipeg, Manitoba sounds like it is very far away, but it is really just a couple hours drive over the border of the US! Mom says if we are going to Canada, we'll drive to Toronto.

Next week is Thanksgiving. I am so excited that I only have to go to school Monday and Tuesday! Wednesday, me and Jack are getting haircuts. Thursday is Thanksgiving at Granny and Grandpa's, and then sweet, sweet freedom Friday thru Sunday! I am going to rest, watch TV, draw and write!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Things that Irritate me

  1. Songs about fox sounds.
  2. Lockdown drills in the freezing cold
  3. Cheap looking cartoons and movies (Example: any Video Brinquedo movie)
  4. My brother
  5. Cartoons that long overstayed its welcome (Example: Johnny Test)
  6. Sid the Science Kid
  7. Insane fanbases (Examples: My Little Pony, Sonic the Hedgehog)
  8. Live action shows on cartoon channels
  9. PETA (even though animal cruelty is one of my pet peeves)
  10. Animal cruelty (especially Pokemon cruelty)
  11. Killing/violence (not cartoon violence)
  12. Bad games (Example: Sonic 2006, Bubsy 3D)
  13. Bad movies (Example: Tentacolino)

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Funny Hockey Story

My mom told me a funny hockey story about my Auntie Jen. Once upon a time, my Auntie Jen and her friend went to a Sox game. (Dad says, Boo!) They were sitting in their seats, and people kept asking the man sitting behind them for autographs, but they didn't know who he was. Finally, they said "who are you? Are you famous?"  The man said "I'm Chris Chelios." Auntie Jen and her friend said "so? who's that?" And he said "I'm CAPTAIN of the BLACKHAWKS."

My mom and dad laughed about this story, but I only find it medium funny, since I don't know who Chris Chelios is either! Mom says he is "before my time."

Monday, November 18, 2013

Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon!

Jack did the lights for a show at Loyola last weekend. It was called the Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon and it took all of the Brothers Grimm fairy tales and mashed them together.

Folks, it was HILARIOUS. I couldn't stop laughing. I was laughing so hard that my mom put her hand over my mouth and told me to quiet down. There was a devil character who laughed like one of the Three Stooges -- hilarious! They kept referencing Disney with songs and lines, and then one of the narrators would tell them to stop so they didn't get sued by the mouse -- hilarious! A few references to the Wizard of Oz -- hilarious! Little Red Riding Hood referenced the mafia -- hilarious!

At intermission, Dad took me to the lighting booth to see Jack. He asked Jack if Jack heard me laughing. Jack just said "yes" and rolled his eyes. Then someone kicked us out of the lighting booth because we weren't supposed to be there. Oops. Anyhow, I had a great time, and I usually get bored at the theater.

I give the Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon two thumbs up! It was a tour de force!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Hockey Night!

Mom and I are watching a Blackhawks home game. We watched the National Anthem with all the people yelling and waving. The current score is 3-2 Blackhawks, except they are doing the Lotto numbers. We didn't win :-(  Mom says we didn't win because we didn't buy a ticket.

While they were singing the National Anthem, Mom wondered about how they change the United Center from Ice to basketball to concert. Dad explained it to us, because he has been there when they were changing it over. The ice is always there, and when they want to play basketball or do a concert, they put insulating black panels over the ice, and then another kind of floor. Then they take down the rink edging. Dad says it takes them about 8 hours to switch it over. Dad and Jack are both helpful people to have around when you need to know something!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Back to reality

Back to normal life!

Mom is home = Yay!

Back to school after a 4 day weekend = Meh

I may have cried a little bit when we picked up mom at the airport, but there are no pictures, so I'll deny it! I'm very very very very very glad she is home. Dad and Jack are fine, but mom is da bomb.

It snowed on Monday! I was so excited, but it's mostly gone now. I'm ready for another 4 day weekend, but I have to wait until Thanksgiving!

Jack is doing the lights for a play this weekend called The Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon. I think it should include some Disney music, but Jack kicked me in the tush. Jack says the only music in the show is the melody from Miley Cyrus's song Wrecking Ball -- but with different lyrics. Jack says the show is very funny, so I may go see it.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

My Favorite Pokemon

  • Pikachu because he's one of my first ever Pokemon cards, along with Treecko.
  • Latias because she's my favorite color.
  • Meowth because in the show, he can talk.
  • Lucario because he can use Aura for crying out loud.
  • Machamp because he has four arms and so strong.
  • Treecko being one of my first ever Pokemon cards, along with Pikachu.
  • Fennekin because it reminds me of Tails from Sonic, being a fox and all.
  • Charizard because his unevolved form is my second favorite starter, the first being Squirtle.
  • Blastoise because his unevolved form is my favorite of the Kanto starters.
  • Ditto because it's so funny-looking.
  • Happiny because it's so adorable.
  • Togepi because it's also featured in the anime.
  • Wobbuffet because it sounds funny
  • Piplup because it's my favorite of the Sinnoh starters.
  • Oshawott because it's strong against fire-types like Tepig.
  • Furfrou being a dog, one of my favorite animals
  • Jigglypuff, also featured in the anime as a recurring character.
  • Ho-Oh because I like rainbows.
  • Zoroark because it can transform.
 And that's all I got.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013


I can't think of anything to blog about! Maybe I should just give up on the Internet and stick everything to paper, but that would make my life super boring. I'm so sobby and hot, that I just might die from writer's block. This is my most severe case of writer's block ever. Whenever Dad gives me an idea, I just say it won't work.

My life is so miserable and boring, that everyday seems like the same thing. All bore and no excitement make Andy a mad boy. My mom always gave me great ideas but now that she's gone, I really miss her. Mom if you're reading this, I really really really miss you, please come back sooner.

As I sign off for today, I leave you with this.......

Monday, November 4, 2013

The Mutant Men cast and abilities

Johnny Depp as Skullhead, able to peel his own skin for disguise purposes.
Zachary Gordon as Sreedo, the youngest of the Mutant Men who uses pyro-telekinesis.
Wally Wingert as Patchwork, the series' comic relief who can take himself apart.
Pete Browngardt as Medic, has healing powers and occasionally shot in the arm.
Jeffory Tambor as Shaggy Longlocks, able to extend hair at 10,000 feet.
Kevin Conroy as Green Bean, who can turn himself into vegetation.
Harrison Ford as Toolbelt, able to morph into various tools.
Fred Tastasciore as Horseman, who can remove his head.
Frank Welker as No-Mouth Nick, who literally has no mouth but Skullhead can translate his mumblings.
Sean Connery as Black Iron, leader of the Global Mutant Resistance.
Tim Curry as Beige Shadow, tyrannical ruler of the world and anti-mutant activist, who always tries to send the Mutant Men to his Moon Prison and exterminate all mutants.
Charlie Adler as Inkling, Beige Shadow's cousin and henchman.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

The neverending blog

I need to blog tonight for school, but I can't think of a single thing to blog about!

My Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle hoodie came today, so I am all set for Halloween. I am going to be Raphael. Jack is not wearing a costume because he is old and boring. I decided on a pumpkin stencil, so I just need mom or dad to buy a pumpkin.

We had a field trip today to the Chicago History Museum. I had fun. My favorite exhibit was the Chicago Jazz and Blues exhibit, because it featured musicians I know, like Muddy Waters and Louis Armstrong. I also liked the L car.

I don't have school on Friday -- yay!  I really want to go back to this hotel we stayed at over the summer and kick back, but my mom says no. Maybe mom will buy me McDonald's or Nick's for lunch?

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Epic Rap Battles of Andia: Count Dracula vs DJ Walters

Dracula: I want to drink your blood, no just kidding! I want to eliminate you in this rap battle! I'm a vampire caricatured by a TV Greek god, he made a pint-sized scientist and a time-traveling samurai! You say you're motion captured, well you should tell that to Mars needs Moms!

DJ: I've seen a anthropomorphic house and now a hotel running vampire, that just made my day, so I'm on fire. Done by two guys who made a film starring Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd, rated PG well ain't that swee, you should really go back to the computers!

Dracula: I'm not guy without souls in eyes, got mixed reviews! But everyone liked because of the director! A box office success, getting a sequel, Tartakovsky working on Popeye but that is okay. But a living house with the soul of a circus sideshow, that's even crazier then a human dating my daughter!

Who won? You decide! Hotel Translyvania for class of 206!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Cartooning class

I'm taking cartooning classes at SociAbility Saturdays at 1 'o something. Some of my mates from JourneyQuest like Ryan and Kevin return for this. My teacher is Rich, the building's local art therapist.

I usually start small by tracing what I see. I getting pretty good at it but when it's too complicated, I ask Rich for help. I love to get Ryan angry because he has a quick temper and he thinks I'm annoying, but I'm okay with it. Kevin also stills references Minecraft and now stuff featuring anime girls......I think.

The usual menu is popcorn, candy and either water, iced tea or coffee. One time, we had a reference-off where we say things from stuff we know and everyone tries to guess it. I even said a certain word that has to do with a kitchen utensil.

Ryan also says that My Little Pony, Wander over Yonder and many more (like Johnny Test for example) are bad shows. He once said that Pokemon generation 1 is bad.

In short, I love cartooning class because I get to grow my creative tree. That's another expression I use. Anyway, th-th-th-that's all folks! 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

More Hockey

Okay! Mom and I are getting our hockey on. The Blackhawks are playing the Tampa Bay Lightning. Uncle John had to tell us what channel to watch, since we didn't know what channel Comcast Sports Net was.

We've got our gamefaces on.

The goalie is Nikolai Khabibulin. I wonder where he's from?

The Hawks are wearing white. The Lightning is wearing blue.

Man -- this game is a lot faster than football or baseball!

Uncle John says if we have questions, we should ask him. Maybe we should do that.

There's a lot of guys bumping into each other. Maybe we need to read something about hockey strategy.

What the puck is going on in this game?  (Ha ha. Get it? Puck?)

Speaking of Puck, Jack is doing the lights for A Midsummer Night's Dream at Loyola. He is not watching hockey with us because it is tech week and he's not home. Dad isn't home either -- he's working.

That Roszival got a penalty for hooking. Mom says she'll look that up.

Uncle John says that live hockey is VERY loud, and I'd probably want to wear my headphones.

Oh no! Tampa scored a point!

A Chevy commercial with Kane and Toews!

I would like a Blackhawks debit card.  I would use it to buy Pokemon Fire Red.

I want this shirt:

There are a lot of Hawks fans there in Florida!

Look at those guys skating backwards!

I think there should be a sport called Extreme Skateboarding Basketball. People would ride on skateboards and shoot some hoops. It could be very popular.

Marcus Kruger. Any relation to Freddy? Ha. Like he's never heard that joke before.

I think that is all the hockey I'm going to blog tonight. Next time I'll watch a home game. Right now, I want mom to make me a cheeseburger.

Stay Hockey, my friends.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013


Well, then, my mom has decided she may have to become a hockey fan.  This happened:

You can just see my uncle Sean's head at the far right of the screen.  The captain of the Blackhawks brought the Stanley Cup trophy to Misericordia, where my Uncle Sean lives. My mom thought that was really nice of him, so now she thinks she will watch hockey, even though she doesn't know anything about hockey. We watched some of the Hawks game last night, but then I needed help with my math homework, so we had to turn off the tv. I told mom that the next time there is a game on, I will watch it with her. I don't know anything about hockey either, but dad says he'll tell us what's going on. Even though he says he thinks mom is a dork.

You know who knows a lot about hockey? My old teacher, Mrs. Grossman, and her husband. I wonder if I would like a hockey game in person, or if it would be too loud? Dad says he will take me to whatever kind of game I want to see, but I'm afraid it would be both boring and loud, and I would be stuck there.

I do think Jonathan Toews is a nice guy, though, for visiting Misericordia. Maybe me and mom can just be his fan, and not watch all the hockey games?

Tuesday, October 22, 2013


I finally got Disney Infinity after a couple of months of pleading and begging. The game is really great but some things weren't what I expected them to be.

The figures were pretty big and so was the base. The lighting wasn't very good that it makes the day look like the night. There were no subtitles. The intro featuring characters yet to be released was excluded and craziest of all, at the time I got it, the Wii was discontinued so Nintendo could move to the Wii U.

Remember my DIN-related post? I also wanted the Lone Ranger, sidekicks, Cars and villains packs. I guess they'll have to wait.

Included in my starter pack was the game itself, a Wreck-It Ralph world disc, the stater figures, a play set piece, the base and a card with a code on it.

Well, now that I have Disney Infinity and Ducktales Remastered, think I should have Sonic Generations next. Th-th-th-that's all folks!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Weblog of Horror II

Remember when I said "More on this tomorrow"? Yeah, I did. And now yours truly will look at other references in The Simpsons THOH XXIV.

Remember the living Lard Lad statue from one THOH and the Simpsons Game? Well he's back but this time before he could wreak havoc, Chief Wiggum as a large Cyclops ate the donut he held and used a nearby water tower as a coffee mug.

Also in the music room sequence, there were all incarnations of the Phantom of the Oprea including the novel. I also saw portraits of the likes of Alien Maggie, the Grand Pumpkin and many more when Lisa left the room on her saxomophone. Pretty classic, eh?

Also included is a reference to a movie called "The Car" where Maggie was driving the titular machine, knocking Milhouse off a bridge leaving him to get eaten by a monstrous version of Blinky the three-eyed fish.

I kinda wish there were also cartoon monsters in there as well like the Lonesome Ghosts from Disney, Darkrai from Pokemon, Gossamer, Chernabog and many more.

Another favorite part of mine when Bart actually skateboarded on the tentacles of Cthulhu himself! I like to pronounce it "Cu-the-lu." I mean come on, I'm not an expert of demons y'know.

You know REALLY could've been scary, if Silver from Sonic the Hedgehog mistook Ned Flanders for the Iblis Trigger and blasted him into kingdom come! Like Homer, Mr. Diddly-doo there drives me banana nuts.

And that's all folks. And remember, if you ever find the Grim Reaper himself walking down the street, run if you can! (manical laugh, thunder)

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Treehouse of Horror

Last week the Simpsons 24th Treehouse of Horror aired on Fox. The opening was directed by Guillermo del Toro and was very cool. He used a lot of sight gags and references to horror movies of the past, as well as his own movies, and even previous Treehouses of Horror!

My favorite part of the 3 minute open was when Springfeldians were being chased by classic movie monsters!

Some of the horror allusions are easily recognizable: everyone knows who Frankenstein is, right? Some of the bits are harder. I am not a big horror movie fan because I don't like being scared, but I have read about a lot of the clips. I know what The Shining is, even though I haven't seen it. A lot of horror authors appear, like Stephen King, Ray Bradbury, Alfred Hitchcock, Edgar Allen Poe, and HP Lovecraft.

Anyone remember this classic scene? Bart writes it on the chalkboard before being faced with an animated Stephen King!

More on this tomorrow!

Thursday, October 3, 2013


Tomorrow is my school's walk-a-thon. Usually, we walk around the school block, but since they are building a new part to the school, we are going to walk around the track at the girls high school next door. I'm very excited for the Walk-a-thon every year. This year, we're doing it to raise money for a new Apple Mac lab in the expansion. Families who raise money will have them end up with their names on a banner in the Mac lab. Once the new part is done, my new classroom will go back to being a library. Since the walk-a-thon is tomorrow, I thought I would make a little handwritten advertisement for this post.

Sam: Congrats on another conference Mr. President/little buddy.
Max: Don't thank me. Thank TV and movie violence for inspiring me to force Republicans into reopening parts of the government.
Sam: You crack me up little buddy. Hey waitaminute, we were supposed to do an advertisement for the upcoming EPE Walkathon.
Max: I got it all covered. Reel it Steve!
Sam: Let's get this show on the street.
Max: Hi everyone, this is your fictional US leader speaking with an important announcement. EPE is holding its annual Walk-a-Thon. This time, the new expansion coming this winter will be getting an Apple Mac lab.
Sam: That's right toothpaste-head. If you want to, come on down to the high school next door and watch all the fun Friday, October 4th.
Max: Sam, when I made you vice president, I promised you a role as the Secretary of all Advertisements made by the President. Get to walking America, this baby's heating up!
Sam: Didn't you already use that line in the first season, I mean a long time ago back in 2007?
Max: Just wanted to spice things up. This advertisement is sponsored by what's left of the government and Mighty Kids Media.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013


Great day in the morning! Well, the government has shut down. Most of it, anyhow. "Non-essential" people can't go to work and don't get paid. Luckily, my dad doesn't work for the government.

I think this is a Political Armageddon. The Republicans are behaving like the pigs in Angry Birds and I don't know what to say about the Democrats. Mom says maybe all the politicians should be fired, but I don't think so. I think Obama should do something about this. Jack says Obama should take his Obama-hammer and Obama-smash everyone.

I wrote a song about Obama:

I'm Obama the president (whistle)
I'm Obama the president (whistle)
When they shut down the government,
I'll eats all my spinach
and give the Republicans what for! (whistle)

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Top 10 Shows that NEED to be cancelled

10. A.N.T Farm
9.  The Looney Tunes Show
8.  Super Why
7.  AwesomenessTV
6.  Johnny Test
5.  Monsters vs Aliens
4.  Bubble Guppies
3.  Wild Kratts
2.  WordWorld
1.  Sid the Idiotic, pessimistic, annoying, insane, Justin Bieber loving, M. Night Shyamalam-centered cult leading, poopy, and overall escaped convict SCIENCE KID!!!!

And now here are the reasons why.

10. Past its prime after the third season premiered.
9. Just plain bland and empty on the looneyness.
8. Can't you see it?! They ruin classic fairy tales and public domain stories! Who's up next, 101 Dalmatians, Rise of the Guardians, FREAKING WINNIE THE POOH?!
7. Ben T. Looney said it right. It's like Incredible Crew season 2.
6. There will be a time where Regular Show, Adventure Time, Gumball and even Teen Titans Go will vanish from a viewer's eye while Johnny Test, will remain on the air, making new episodes all the time because it's so poor and easy to make that it will stay on the air until Cartoon Network is wiped from existence NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE HATE IT!
5. It's nothing like the more superior film. Next time Dreamworks, make a show based on Shrek on maybe ABC Family or CBS.
4. I only saw one episode and guess what, I hated it! The animation was bad, the characters were unlikable, the humor is bland and it roped in Zachary Gordon just so there would be another Wimpy Kid movie.
3. It's just so repetitive and the main animation is just needless. Why not bring back Zoobamafoo? That's a more likable show.
2. When this comes on, change the channel to Nick Jr. immediately.
1.'s horrid.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Grandpa's Birthday

My uncle John sent me an email to remind me that yesterday was my Grandpa's birthday. My dad called my grandparents' cottage to say happy birthday, but they were busy having a dinner party, so I didn't get to talk to him.

My dad and his brothers and sister call my grandpa "Ogre." I used to dislike this. I thought it was mean. Nowdays, it reminds me of a certain Ogre from Dreamworks and I think it's not too bad. Shrek is one of Dreamworks most popular characters and movie franchises. If Shrek can make an ogre popular, I guess my grandpa can be an ogre.

My family calls my grandpa the Ogre because he used to yell a lot when they were kids. He even has a funny poem taped to his wall:

The Ogre does what ogres can,
Deeds quite impossible for Man,
But one prize is beyond his reach:
The Ogre cannot master speech.

About a subjugated plain,
Among it's desperate and slain,
The Ogre stalks with hands on hips,
While drivel gushes from his lips.

I think the poem is a little mean, but still funny. Sometimes when my grandpa gets mad, he can't remember what he wants to say.

I think I am grandpa's favorite grandson because I look like him and my middle name is his first name. Also, I'm awesome. Jack is sort of awesome.

Happy Birthday Grandpa Ogre!

Monday, September 23, 2013


Recently, Internet hated popstar Justin Bieber has posted a picture featuring the logo of the upcoming Batman-Superman movie. Who could he play? It's not Alfred, it's not Commissioner Gordon and it's definitely not Batgirl. There have been many rumors spreading around the Information Highway that he will be playing the Boy Wonder himself, Speedy!

Off-screen voice: You mean Robin?

Oh right, Robin.

Great, first we had Batfleck and now we have what I like to call "Robieber." I guess Christopher Nolan, the director of the Christian Bale Batman movies and one of the producers of the recent Man of Steel movie, wanted to bring back the child-like charm that Robin brought in the old 60s series and the Joel Schumacher films. In fact, let's bring on some clips of Chris O'Donnell's performance!

(fake whining-babbling is shown with clips of Robin in the Joel Schumacher film "Batman and Robin")

I think we had enougha that. Let's hope Robin won't sing "Baby" at Batman's face when he and Superman encounter Mr. Freeze and Brainiac. I think Tom Cruise would make a better addition to the Dynamic Duo.

And I'm out of stuff to talk about. This is Andy Mayer signing out with a quote from Arnold Schwarzenegger's Mr. Freeze, "Stay cool."

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Thursday the 19th

I had a very good day at school today. I finally understood multiples and was awake the whole day. The only bad thing is the weather. First it was pouring out from last night to today until it cleared up but started boiling. Last night, I turned off some lights in case we don't get another blackout. Trust me, I HATE those blackouts. You can see nothing at all and it's really scary. At least the fridge was closed.

I also been playing Tales of Monkey Island by Telltale Games and LucasArts (R.I.P 1982-2013). It tells the continuing adventures of Guybrush Threepwood Mighty Pirate TM as he tries to find a cure for his wife Elaine after an incident involving the Cursed Cutlass of Kaflu and his enemy LeChuck. He later washes up on Flotsam Island and meets an old ally of him, the Voodoo Lady and has to find La Esponja Grande (Spanish for "The Great Sponge") a powerful sponge that can soak up any voodoo energy. Along the way on his quest for the Sponge, he encounters captain-turned-first mate Reginald Van Winslow (who I know from Poker Night at the Inventory), pirate hunter Morgan LeFlay, the evil Captain McGillicutty, the deranged doctor Marquee De Singe, Coronado De Cava and his crew, his old friend Stan and finally the Grim Reaper himself after being sent to the afterlife. The first chapter was pretty tricky and I almost got through Rise of the Pirate God, but I'm sure I can save the Caribbean, defeat LeChuck and other stuff. By that I mean complete the game.

Overall it was a great day. I hope to expect more from Telltale Games in the foreseeable future. 

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Jack's belated birthday

Dad came hime from Amsterdam today, so we had a belated birthday for Jack. Mom bought fancy cupcakes from the fancy cupcake shop and we sang Happy Birthday.

I gave Jack the most HILARIOUS card for his birthday. The front is a game of hangman with some letters filled in. The card says "If you can complete this birthday puzzle, something special will be ins store for you." It LOOKS like the card will say Happy Birthday. But then you open it and the letters are filled in and it really says "Hairy Buttocks! Nice Try. Happy Birthday." So funny. It cracked me up. I also gave Jack "The Legend of Korra" on DVD. He also got a bunch of books and some DVDs. 15 is too old for toys, I guess. I don't think I will ever be too old for Legos. I hope I get Legos for my birthdays forever.

On Saturday I am going to take my first cartooning class. Oh Boy!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Muppets from Space

The movie Muppets from Space is on tv right now. I like this movie. I like all the Muppet movies. Jim Henson was a creative genius. The first Muppet he created was Kermit, and Kermit is still the leader of the Muppets.

I wonder what it would be like to create something so completely amazing like that? Or like the people at Pixar with Toy Story and Finding Nemo. And Monsters, Inc! Monsters Inc. is pretty much the most creative movie ever.  I hope that someday I can create something totally new and amazing like Jim Henson, or John Lassiter. Or even Dav Pilkey, author of the Captain Underpants books, or Jeff Kinney with Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

Someday, I want to create something that will amaze the world.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013


My dad is in Amsterdam for the next 10 days. He is there to attend the International Broadcaster Convention. He tells people about sound mixers.

Amsterdam is the capitol of the Netherlands. Amsterdam is 7 hours ahead of us in time, so we can only talk to dad first thing in the morning, when it is afternoon there. We talk to him on Skype, which is cool, because we can see each other on the computer screen.

Amsterdam is very old. It has been a city since the Middle Ages. The city has a lot of canals. My dad says the weather has been kind of rainy.

I can't wait until dad comes home! He is going to miss Jack's birthday on Saturday.  Dad can wish Jack a happy belated birthday, just like I did for uncle John.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Good Grief!

Saturday was my Uncle John's birthday and no one reminded me! I bet Uncle John is very disappointed in me :-(

Uncle John is my dad's older brother. My mom says he is the Jack to my Matt. In other words, Uncle John probably spent a lot of time trying to destroy my dad's life! Or maybe just beat him up.

But it's okay now. They get along okay. Uncle John gives his Cubs tickets to my dad and Jack and gets them into the Stadium Club. We all have dinner together at Grammy and Grandpa's house, and he comes out to the cottage when we are there and goes fishing with me. My mom says someday me and Jack will be like that, but I don't think Jack will ever go fishing with me. He doesn't like fish.  Uncle John also lets me stay with him when my parents and Jack do stuff for Misericordia. I go to his cool house and eat pizza and watch tv. I can do things on my laptop and things on my laptop on the tv. It is very cool. He used to have a video game called shuffle shot at his house, but it is broken.

So happy belated birthday, Uncle John!

Monday, September 9, 2013


It was 90 degrees today -- too hot! We roasted like turkeys on the playground at recess. I tried to stay in the shade at all times, but the sun was beating down on us like Hulk Hogan vs. John Cena. Ugh. And then my mom had to park the car far away when she picked me up from school, so there was that hot walk to deal with.

Luckily, we have air conditioning in the school. Mrs. Morrissey's room is very nice.

I am collecting Pokemon Rumble U figures! So far, I have Jirachi, Bulbasaur, Darkrai, Torchic, Mew, and and a Shiny Genesect. Legendary Pokemon are really common in these things like Shaymin, Deoxys and Victini. But Shinies are rare and I'm happy to get one. My mom buys these figures at our new local Gamestop near the Jersey Mike's sandwich store. I have to earn them for doing good at school. My mantra for school is "calm, cool, and collected."

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Rosh Hashanah!

Tonight's homework was to research Rosh Hashanah. Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish new year, but it is not like New Year's in January. Rosh Hashanah is an important Jewish religious holiday.

This year, Rosh Hashanah starts at sundown tonight, September 4, and ends at sundown on Friday, September 6. The Jewish year is 5774. Wow! That's a lot of years!

One of the things Jewish people do on Rosh Hashanah is to think about the things they did wrong in the past year, and plan to do better things this year.

Synagogues blow a ram's horn, called a shofar, on rosh hashanah.

People are not supposed to work on Rosh Hashanah, but they should go to temple. Does this work also mean school? If I were Jewish, would this mean I stay home?

Jewish people sometimes eat apples with honey to wish for a sweet new year. I like the apple part, but the honey sounds like it doesn't go with apples. I think the eating apples for a sweet year is cool.

I don't think people fast for Rosh Hashanah. It seems like they save that for Yom Kippur, which is the next Jewish holiday. I told my mom I was glad we aren't Jewish or Muslim because I don't like this idea of fasting. She told me that Catholics are supposed to fast on Ash Wednesday, Good Friday and when the Pope says so. Good Grief! How come we can't be religious without starving?

L'shanah Tovah, folks! My old teacher Mrs. Grossman is Jewish and I used to say that to her! I miss Mrs. Grossman. She moved to Colorado to do yoga and teach kids who aren't me. :-(

(My information about Rosh Hashanah came from Judaism 101.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Ramadan and fasting

Tonight for homework I had to research Ramadan. This is what I learned: it is a month of fasting. Muslim people have to not eat, drink, or swear between dawn and dusk. They can eat before sunrise and after sunset. They are also supposed to pray and read their Qur'an. Fasting is supposed to help Muslims clean their souls and learn self-control.

Jack just read an article that the Pope says that Catholic people are supposed to fast this Saturday to pray for peace in Syria. I said "no way!" but Jack said I am too young to fast. Whew!

I think observing Ramadan sounds hard. I don't know if I could not eat or drink for the entire day. I wonder if Muslims controlled the TV, if they would cancel the Food Network for the month of Ramadan? It would be hard to watch food shows when you can't eat.

During the summer, my mom and me stopped at an Arabic restaurant to pick up food for lunch. (Lunch for mom and dad and Jack. I don't like Arabic food. I prefer McDonald's.) It was very crowded and busy. There was this angry yelling guy who yelled and swore at everyone. Then he said he was tired of waiting and demanded his money back. Then he called us all names and stomped out of the restaurant. I think that guy needs some anger management classes.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Dateline: August 28th, 1963

Today is the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington and Martin Luther King's famous "I have a dream" speech. MLK's speech from that day is one of the most famous speeches in American history.

Martin Luther King, Jr. was a famous civil rights activist, but he was also a Baptist preacher. The part of the speech that people remember is at the end when he says "I have a dream" and tells people about his dream of racial equality. This part of the speech is uplifting, like something from church. He keeps saying "I have a dream" which makes people think about his dream of freedom and racial equality.

MLK would like his children to have the same rights and education as white children. He has a dream that white children and black children can be friends and go to school together. He wants people to be judged by what they do, instead of what color they are. This speech was so great that it made the people listening to it wish that MLK's dream could come true. The speech was so great that it made more people get involved in Civil Rights in the 60s.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Wacktoons characters

  • The Garner siblings
Gabby: The oldest brother and most talkative
Hungry: A voracious brother who has an appetite for anything
Cutie: The more cuter of the siblings.
Baby: The youngest of them all.

  • Carl Chipmunk
A crotchety old toon from the 1940s, trying to live a daily life with a few mishaps along the way.

  • Pinky the Platypus
Carl's adoptive son and his polar opposite. While Carl is grumpy, old and not so smart in modern days, Pinky is optimistic, cheerful, nice and smart.

  • Manly Dan
A boisterous, crazy, arrogant and sometimes soft muscular man who lives in a condo with Weak Wally

  • Weak Wally
Manly Dan's more smarter and gentler sidekick and roommate. He's always trying to talk some sense into his friend, often ending in him getting flattened like a pancake.

  • Count Mockula
An evil scientist/vampire/filmmaker who creates rip-offs of more mainstream films.

  • Maurice
A genetically altered meerkat with an IQ of 9,999 who plots for world domination.

  • Frank
A genetically altered elephant who is Maurice's lab partner and friend. He is more incompetent than Maurice.  

  • Boss Rex
A Tyrannosaurus Rex who is a former mob boss who, along with his two henchmen try to find new jobs.

  • Squinty
A Pteranadon who is one of Boss Rex's henchmen.

  • Morty
An Allosaurus who is one of Boss Rex's henchmen and Squinty's best friend.

  • Pingo
A penguin who's brain was switched with that of Amelia Earheart.

  • Joe and Moe
Two bumbling Skua birds who both have an interest for opera and preform their own.

Monday, August 26, 2013


Today was my first day of 6th grade. It's been a long time since my last blog. I decided to end Toons These Days because I can't think of any jokes that would come out of a crotchety old toon's mouth. Let's talk some topics.

I want the new game Disney Infinity so badly for the Wii but the Amazon reviews say that it's really bad. I don't care what they say, I want a Mr. Incredible figure in my grubby hands now! And I also want some packs like the Lone Ranger, Cars, sidekicks and villains.

I'm not a huge fan of the Sly Cooper series but I'm excited for the 5th game. If the gang are traveling back in time again, I want to see some more ancestors like Slaigh MacCooper, Thaddeus Winslow Cooper III, Henriette "One Eye" Cooper and possibly Sly's father. I hope the PS4 is about $29.99.

I'm also excited for season 4 of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Yes people, I'm a brony. Not an obsessive one, a closet one or anybody else. I'm just a medium brony who just watches the show. If I had to pick a favorite pony, it's definitely be Pinkie Pie.

Well, that's all I could say. This is Andy and stay pony everyone. Almost forgot, don't miss the series premiere of Uncle Grandpa, Monday September 2nd on Cartoon Network.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Toons These Days: Pac Man and the Ghostly Adventures

This will be one of the two last Toons These Days episodes for now since I've been getting many requests from my uncle John to do stuff about life, not review cartoons. So, here we go.

Doggy: Better get the complete series DVD for Sonic SatAM because this one is about as dark than the game it was based on. This is Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures, or as I call it, "The New Adventures of Pac-Man"

Pacster or Pac-Man is the last of the Yellow Ones after they were all wiped out by the evil Lord Betrayus during the Pac-World War. Mostly, Pac World is inhabited by spherical creatures who's species that have no name! Anyway, Pac-Man is aided by his high-school friends Cylindria and Spiral in wiping out the ghosts that were released from this place from the Nether Realm. It also replaced that show I reviewed awhile back called "Motorcity".

Anyway, the show features some voice actors from My Little Pony and even Tom Ruegger is the producer. Gee, since his shows were so great, Tom thought he would top it. I was never into video games, I was more into dice games, poker, checkers and kick-the-can. For those unfamiliar to Pac-Man or are bronies, this is a watch. Now, before I go on vacation to Hawaii, I will review the show that many requested........Aquarium Girls. Hah! Just kidding it's Xiaolin Showdown. When I return from vacation I will review this Teen Titans Go. Conroy, where are our bags?

Conroy: All ready Doggy.

Doggy D Dachshund and Conroy Cat belong to Alex Dudley. Sonic SATam belong to Cookie Jar and Sega, Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures belong to Namco and Toru Iwatini. Motorcity belongs Titmouse, Inc and Disney Television Animation, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic belongs to Hasbro and DHX Media, Xiaolin Showdown and Teen Titans Go belong to Warner Bros Animation.

Also, the crossover review will be put on hold. Coming soon, Doggy, Conroy and Chester A Bum will review "My Little Pony: Equestria Girls"and "Johnny Test"

Monday, July 1, 2013

Toons these Days: The Cat in the Hat knows a lot about That

Doggy: AHH, MY BRAINS! OH THE CHARACTERS, THEY'RE SO STUPID! HOH BOY, OH JEBUS, BY THE NAME OF HAYAO MIYAZAKI, THEY'RE SO DUMB! Conroy, get me a giant marshmallow to avert my senses!

Conroy: Here you go! (throws giant marshmallow)

Doggy: Ah, that's better. Anyway, the show I watched is another media version of Dr. Suess' works. This one in fact is a Cat in the Hat cartoon starring Martin Short and Robin Tinkler. The story is about the Cat who's friends with these bratty nobodies named Nick and Sally. In the original book and the Bo Welch movie, it was Sally and a boy named Conrad.

Back to the Cat, they go to all sorts of places with dumb names like Muddyfeet Waterhole, the kingdom of Color-Galore and many more stupidly-named places. As for Nick and Sally, they're just dim lightbulbs waiting to burn out. And just when you think that they have only mothers like the Romeo and Juliet with the Flash-animated seals, think again you little shmucks! Watch the Christmas special.

And they say the Cat knows everything but no! The good name of Ted Geisel has been ruined a lot of times save for Blue Sky's Horton movie and I think it's time for these adaptations to die out and be forgotten.

Speaking of Flash, this show is animated in this kind. And I thought Johnny Test was so horrible and easily-made. My rating on this show, half a hat! Coming up next, my first crossover review with Chester A Bum. Wish us good luck on surviving more about everyone's FAVORITE Flash cartoon but it's a surprise. Here's a hint, it's on Cartoon Network and has James Arnold Taylor in it.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Conroy and Doggy at the Movies: Monsters University

Doggy: What the Fred Wolf did I just watch?

Conroy: Only the best Pixar movie since The Incredibles! The animation, the story and the characters! Why did Michael Phillips have to hate it?

Doggy: I don't get it, just by the first second I just got lost in it! Is it supposed to be a Pixar movie or a generic high school drama flick?

Conroy: Well, Mike and Sulley in Monsters Inc are like Homer Simpson and George Jetson except they're monsters and voiced by John Goodman and Billy Crystal. In here, they're like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. One is a smart goofball and the other is just crazy!

Doggy: We're not talking Looney Tunes here. You've seen how they died and Kristen Wiig still gives me nightmares. Still what's the plot? Did Mike and Sulley lose their jobs at Monsters Inc and had to go back to school or did they accidentely reverse time?

Conroy: Actaully, it's a prequal explaining how Mike and Sulley became friends, how Randall came to hate Sulley and why did the snowcone Yeti got banished to the Himalaylas.

Yeti: Snowcone?

Doggy: Maybe a snowcone will clear my mind. Also, is Frozen about a girl who has to save her sister or a Looney Tunes-esque snowman and reindeer? And also, Turbo sounds pretty stupid! Aren't snails normally slow, and who was that purple guy next to Dave in the policy short.

Conroy: Oh well! Readers, if you want to see this then it's guaranteed!

Doggy: Or if you hated Pixar since Cars 2, watch a college movie instead!

(My rating: 8/10)

Monday, June 24, 2013

Toons These Days: Conroy Cat's Top 10 SSB4 Characters

Conroy: Greetings friends! As you know, I am Conroy Cat if you read my comic and since Doggy is on vacation in Porta Vista, he let me take over. Now ever since Smash Bros 4 has been fully revealed back at E3 along with a pile of Nintendo games with new characters like Mega Man, the Villager from Animal Crossing and Wii Fit Trainer, I have taken the time to assemble the mightiest characters in Video Game Land in this very top ten list! Now let's get Smashing!

#10: Sly Cooper
Now this one was tricky since I originally wanted Conker on this spot. Y'know, the M-rated gun-wielding red squirrel? Anyway, Sly's move-set would be based on moves done by his ancestors. Like Tennessee Kid Cooper with the rail walk, Slytunkhamen with his shadow-cloak thing and Rioichu with his perch-whatever. Yeah, I don't play Sly Cooper much. I'm more into Call of Duty and Batman. Sorry squirrel, but this spot belongs to the Cooper Clan! I'll save you for later.

#9: Mickey Mouse/Oswald the Lucky Rabbit
When Annie-San and I played Epic Mickey 2, I noticed something. Mickey and Oswald's move-sets are based on how control them in the game! They could be like the Ice Climbers except stronger, faster and agile. If those two touch that Smash Ball, who knows what's gonna happen!

#8: Krystal
Now, I know not all of you are Star Fox fans since everyone hated the endings in Command or that's what I think. Krystal could use telepathy to blast away opponents, sense attacks and use her staff as a weapons. Plus, we do need more female fighters than....four. And why not use her appearence in Adventures as an alternate costume? (purrs) Yep, I'm a sucker for skimpy clothes. (whispers) Don't tell Doggy.

#7: Conker
I already mentioned before at #10 but now adults' favorite rodent got his own spot. He could be like in Pocket Tales, Bad Fur Day and Live & Reloaded where he uses an array of weapons. B for gun, A for slingshot, a flick of the wrist for the bazooka and many more! I promised ya Conks and now here you are!

#6: Na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Batman!
That's right! The Dark Knight, Caped Crusader, Bruce Wayne, the Batman! Being a superhero, he could his wide variety of gadgets like the Batarang, the grappling hook and last but not least the BatMobile!

#5: Sora
A LOT of people want this kid in the next Smash Bros but they couldn't decide on a move-set so I have one. He could beat up opponents with the Keyblade which is only the Kingdom Key unless you can change weapons, use drive forms when pressing the C, Z, 1 and 2 buttons and when he touches that Smash Ball, he could open Kingdom Hearts and suck up other guys! The power of the Keyblade is in your hands Sakurai.

#4: Waluigi
With three more characters set to be announced like Pac-Man, Little Mac and Mii, why not have the purple Luigi join the battle? He could his tennis racket to whack people into the ground like his assist trophy in Brawl and his Final Smash could be running them over with his kart.  Wet Waluigi woin the wing!

#3: The Prince
Some people might say "WHAT?! This wimp in Smash Bros? He'll never make it in!!" Well, I say no! The Prince can be a very powerful character since he squishes EVERYONE onto his ball! That is all.

#2: Bowser Jr/Shadow Mario
Since his first appearance in Super Mario Sunshine, everyone wanted him in SSB! And I agree with them. Like Samus, his Final Smash can be changing into another form and once he touches that Smash Ball again, he can revert back. Simple, right?

Conroy: All right before I get to number 1, let's recap. #10: Sly Cooper, #9: Mickey and Oswald, #8: Krystal, #7: Conker, #6: Batman, #5: Sora, #4: Waluigi, #3: The Prince and #2: Bowser Jr. So who could it be?

#1: Knuckle Joe
Oh man, this is the guy! Now I didn't include any Kirby characters on this list because of what happened to Meta Knight, I decided to give Joe some light. He's an assist trophy in Brawl and his Final Smash might be Rising Break which if it's done like in the anime, oh man! Knuckle Joe has a very good chance of getting in being the main helper in Kirby Superstar and getting a lot of fame in the anime so let this little kid enter the ring. Oh and by the way, have him voiced by Jason Griffith.

Conroy: Now that we're done with the predictions, let's move on to the runners up. Joe and Mac, Kat and Ana, Wreck-It Ralph, Dr. Eggman, Bomberman, Banjo & Kazooie, King K Rool, Simon Belmont and Lady Palutena. See you guys! 

Monday, May 27, 2013

Toons These Days Editorial: PokePredictions

Doggy: As the anime's Unova region is almost coming to an end with the continuing Team Plasma arc, people wonder what'll Ash do next. That's right, another Pokemon related thingy. So here are my "PokePredictions"!

There might possibly be a storyline after Team Plasma based on the latest Pokemon spinoff, Gates to Infinity where Ash turns into a Pikachu again and his partner is Oshawott. Meanwhile, Cilan takes care of Pikachu and Ash's other Pokemon while the kid is gone. But I doubt that since the critics weren't very kind to the game.

Maybe also Ash will finally get his own Lucario or maybe he'll be revived by an accidental ThunderBolt move by Pikachu. I dunno, Lucario's death in the eighth movie was pretty tragic even after guiding Ash and pals the way to find Pikachu. Maybe that'll happen sometime.

Maybe Iris will capture her own Minccino since she only has four Pokemon and Bianca already has one.

Charizard will possibly start a rivalry with Oshawott since water burns out fire and Fire-types are least effective against Water-types.

Ash's past traveling companions will come to Unova to reunite with that Ketchum kid. Misty and Brock, Tracey Sketchit and May & Max. Dawn might also come back since she appeared in one Unova-sode where her Pipulp becomes rivals with Oshawott just like I mentioned with Charizard and the little guy.

A crazy time-traveling inventor who is like Doctor Who and Doc Brown combined, meets Ash and the gang and builds a time machine so he can go back in time and destroy Team Plasma so that Pokemon will be free from their control. All we need is some Pokemon that fit him like Alomomola, Magnemite, Beartic and a good voice actor like Matt Smith or Christopher Lloyd to fit his characterisitcs.

Pikachu, Axew, Scraggy and Charizard will be captured by a crime syndicate headquartered in Nimbasa City and Ash & Iris send out Unfeazent and Dragonite to find them. Meanwhile, Team Rocket sees Pikachu's capture as an opportunity to trade Jessie's Seviper for the little guy.

I guess that's all I have for this episode. Join me in my review of the Epic movie. Not that, the family friendly, computer animated Epic. I'd like to thank Conroy and Bulbapedia AGAIN for giving me more Pokefacts!

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Toons These Days: Top 10 Pokemon caught by Ash Ketchum

Doggy: Sorry for the wait peoples. I was busy recovering from that horrid show I reviewed for the Earth Day special. For a long time, I was thinking of what to do other than reviews. Suddenly, I thought up something that everyone else has 10 lists!

Since then I tried to think of a theme that has to do with something INSANELY popular! And so, my top 10 Pokemon caught by that little twerp they call Ash Ketchum was born.

Number 10, Pignite.
Originally a Tepig owned by this guy named Shamus, this guy was ditched after he lost to a Deerling. After being untied by Don George and went in search of his trainer. When Ash visited the Accumala Town Pokemon Battle Club, he mistook the little guy for an Umbreon stealing food recorded by a security camera in a warehouse. A bunch of stuff later, he was found by Ash and took him as his own and then he evolved. This guy is good when it comes to fire which explains him as a Fire-type Pokemon.

Number 9, Inferape
That's right, another fire-type. And this time it's a (Dennis Hopper as King Koopa voice) monkey! (normal voice) It was originally owned by Paul as a Chimchar until he was released and joined Team Ketchum. After a while, he evolved into a Monferno and then into who we see today.

Number 8, Snorlax
Captured by the kid in the Orange Islands, this guy is actually pretty funny. Don't get me wrong, this type a creature, is huge, fat, chubby, hulking and big! We'll get to more of Snorlax right after these messages!

Conroy: Who's that Pokemon? It's...Totodile!

Doggy: Welcome back! Now who was I talking about again, oh right Snorlax! He's pretty good. Moving on!

Number 7, Scraggy
Receiving Scraggy's egg as a parting gift, it hatched! I got nothing else to say other than Ash has it in rotation! Next.

Number 6, Snivy
Being discovered by Ash and friends, Iris and Cilan say that this cute guy was abandoned by his Trainer after deemed unworthy making him the second abandoned Pokemon on this list. Snivy was the cause of Tepig's evolution!

Number 5, Oshawott.
Being Ash's starter Pokemon for the Unova region, Ketchum thought he looked cute when he was brought out. Oshawott later rescued Pikachu and Iris' Axex from Team Rocket's clutches in the next episode with his scalchop. Like Scraggy and Snorlax, I got nothin' else to say!

Number 4, Charizard.
As a Charmander owned by this guy named Damian, he was released and found Ash as his new Trainer. He later evolved into a Charmeleon and Ash stopped using him now that he's disobedient. He's now fully evolved and played a good role in two of the movies.

Number 3, Unfezant.
The first ever Pokemon caught by Ash in the Unova region as a Pidove. There was too much information about him so let's move on!

Number 2, Krookodile.
This fella is most notable for his glasses and cares deeply for them when a Ducklett stole them when he was a Sandile. Sorry about the lesser info but it'll change by number 1.

Number 1, Pikachu!
As Ash's first Pokemon and his partner throughout his journey to become a Pokemon Master, Pikachu is the ultimate Pokemon! And that's all I have for the Top 10 Pokemon caught by Ash Ketchum, see ya at the cinema fellas!

Special thanks to Conroy for giving me info on Pokemon! I never watched it so I can give it a try.


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Toons These Days: Vídeo Brinquedo

Doggy: Riddle me this kiddos. Have you ever wanted to see sequels to your favorite movies, and all the new wacky situations the characters have to go through? Only, the films made by the company I'm talking about today are very poor and are all about "money money money" instead of "it's for the kids!" It's Vídeo Brinquedo ev'ryone.

So this stupid animation company is in Brazil and mostly go around ripping off more popular films and other junk like Ratatouille, Kung Fu Panda, Transformers, the Disney Princess line, Wall-E and Robots and many more original movies!

 The animation of said original projects.......are just dog poop. Complete dog poop! I got nothing else so jsut watch the adorable kitten while I think of something else to say.

Doggy: Okay, now that your hearts have melted. Allow me to say that companies that made the real deals should file lawsuits against this stupid Brazilian company! See you next time.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Toons These Days: Littlest Pet Shop

Doggy: It's been a while since I reviewed the spawn of Kratos and I decided to review something that's half as bad. This is Littlest Pet Shop people!

So there's this stupid girl named Blythe voiced by Ashleigh Ball, who also voiced Rainbow Dash and Applejack. Dang it show! Stop trying to remind me of better shows that I'd like to see again! Blythe moves to the big city that has no name and winds up living in an apartment that is under a pet shop.

The pets are as followed.

Zoe Trent, a dog who looks like Twilight Sparkle and voiced by Nicole Oliver. She is a diva who likes to sing. Shoot! This show has songs! I'll get to those later.

Then there's Russell Ferguson, a porcupine I mean hedgehog voiced by Samuel Vincent! Hedgehogs and Sam Vincent, doesn't that sound I get it, it's Sonic! He likes getting everything in order and organized. Hey Double D, you have a rip-off here!

Also there's Pepper Mildred Clark, a skunk voiced by Tabitha St. Germain. Lemme guess, she's really uptight and obsessed with fashion! No, she's a comedian. Curse you show for ripping off two of my favorite ponies! But's that another story.

Then there's Minka Mark, a spider monkey who likes painting. She's also a Pinkie Pie stereotype. HASBROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next in line is Sunil Nevla, a mongoose voiced by Peter New. He speaks one-word sentences, right? No, he can speak full paragraphs.

Then there's Vinnie Alfonso Terrio, a lizard who is not very smart. Aw super! A brain dead character! Actually, he's not actually brain dead, he's not as bright as the other pets.

Finally there's.....Penny Ling. A panda that's adorable and is nice to everyone. She is pretty cute BUT SHE RIPPED OFF FLUTTERSHY!!!

Sorry about Vinnie, he's actually a gecko but blame the horrible character designs. Everyone looks like mutants. I got a great idea for a show!

(singing) Teenage Mutant Ninja Humans, heroes who are bipedal, human power!

Yep. That's a thought. See you next time.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Bum Reviews: Sly Cooper Thieves in Time

Chester: OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST GAME I EVER PLAYED IN MY LIFE!!! (scatting Pink Panther theme) Spoilers!

So there's this grey squirrel named Sly Cooper who's a thief and he's like "I'm retiring to get laid!" I was a thief once! I got caught by the fuzz. They were bears.
 You wanna know why, because he wants to be with his girlfriend Carmelita Fox! It's fun to be together without an electric handgun!

In his stealing days, there were this tortoise in a wheelchair named Bentley and a pink elephant named Murray! Oh no, one of the Pink Elephants live! What an unusual beau.

It turns out that he's faking amnesia to be with Carmelita and he's still thieving! That varmint! His next target is an art collector and then Bentley showed up! When they were kids, they made up a plan to steal donuts, or was it cookies? I stole cookies once, Homer Simpson was angry.

Anyway, the Cooper Gang reunite because the stuff from this book called the Thevius Racoonus are disappearing! Wait a minute, Sly is a squirrel so that means that someone in his family made out with a raccoon.

That's all I could get because the game was so short! What happened to Sly? When they were in this time machine, they simply disappear! Were they wiped from existance, never to be seen again? Oh well, better luck in the sequel.


I want to make out with a squirrel and a raccoon and be a thief who is wiped from the timeline!

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Toons These Days Earth Day special: Tree Fu Tom

Doggy: (bawling) Sorry, I can't help it! It's just that (sobbing) this show, this show is so bad, I'd rather watch a Video Briqeundo film! (crying) Tree Fu Tom everyone.

So it's about this girlish boy who always goes in his backyard and always finds this tree. He does this stupid dance that would make bending in "The Last Airbender" look like the source material! Then he goes into this place called Treetopolis and has several friends including the racist Twigs, the insane ZigZoo and two others who are so forgettable that I forgot their names!

Wait, if Tom goes somewhere different, wouldn't his mom be worried. Send out a search party! File a missing boy report! Anyway, they try to make it look cool but in real life it isn't! The character designs look nightmare inducing and creepy, plus the animation looks like a MMORPG.

In short, (very quickly) it is completely stupid, there are no bad guys, it tries to be awesome so it's very bad! (bawling) Excuse me, I have to watch My Little Pony, always calms my nerves because it's more epic than this piece of junk. I'll get to that another time.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Toons These Days: Henry Hugglemonster

Doggy: Y'know what bugs me? That Disney Junior channel! They've created such hits that I wish they made a monster failure. Speaking of monsters, that's today subject Henry Hugglemonster!

It's about a family of weird-looking monsters called the Hugglemonsters. Lemme guess, it's a stupid family sitcom rip-off! A mother and a father, siblings, a baby and a dog! Been there done that, a lot of times exactly.

The title character is Henry, voiced by Lara Jill Miller. Miller is insanely known for Lambie, Widget, puppy Clifford, and many more! By the name of Hanna-Barbera, make her stop! Also, stop making female actors voice male characters! That goes for the opposite of that, boys voicing girls!

Her sister, Summer is from the planet Showbiz of course. Now who keeps naming their kids after the four seasons? First Ariel Winter and now this kid. Also, where the heck does the dad work, Monsters Inc?

My rating, 5/10 because nothing is explained! I'll be reviewing a lot more toons before the Earth Day special. Conroy, what was that ridiculous-sounding show called again?

Conroy: Tree-Fu Tom.

Doggy: (starts to shed a tear) Scuse me.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Toons These Days: Tron Uprising

Doggy: Left, shift, alt, delete everyone! This show is Tron Uprising! A digital stupidity combining 2D, CG and somehow stop-motion considering why the animation is so slow.

Anyhoo, the show takes place between the original film and the sequel. It's about a program named Beck who's the leader of some kinda revolution in The Grid. His goal is to save his home and friends from the maniacal CLU, the bad guy from Legacy, and his henchman Tesler. Beck is trained by Tron, in which Bruce Boxleitner reprises his role from the movie. Not only does Tron teach Beck the ways of the light cycle and the fighting, he's also his mentor. Not too shabby Disney.

Destined to become the next Tron, he adopts his teacher's persona and becomes the archenemy of Tesler and his evil armies.

Mermaid Man: Evil! EEEEEVILLLLLL!!!

Doggy: Don't mind him. Anyway, they try to make everything look cool, the animation, the fighting, everything! It's like trying to make changing the channel and eating look cool! (dramatic music) Anyway, it's just okay. Since Earth Day is coming, there's gotta be something juicy on. Conroy, what's up next?

Conroy: Something called "Tree-Fu Tom".

Doggy: Ah smoo!

Join us next time for the Earth Day special when Doggy reviews "Tree Fu Tom".

Guest starring Myk Friedman as Mermaid Man.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Toons These Days Editorial: Why hate Princesses

(Doggy appears onscreen sitting behind an office desk with a snack bowl, typewriter and an ashtray. Rather than wearing his normal hat, Doggy wears a visor, glasses and a necktie)

Doggy: Hello there guys. Today I have an important topic: "Why hate Princesses"

Considering that every little girl wants to be a princess with their elegant beauty, kind heart and enchanted surroundings, grownups were getting kinda suspicious. Seems kinda strange because princesses are girls too y'know! Heck, my good friend the Nostalgia Critic ranted about them in the media.

NC: You're not a princess, you just took the title because it sounds cute!

You see, there was a tiny controversey considered the princess anti-feminist because she always gets captured by some evil person and a prince has to save her.

Is it just innocent make-believe or something to get angry about?

Now to answer this question, let's look at the most famous princesses straight from Disney!

These guys just reinvented the fairy tale and seeing how their princess line is the most legendary entertainment line, they have a clear understanding why princesses are so popular. What do they have in common? Well, they're all pretty, kind, various clothes and accessories you can buy for them, but the intrigue of owning one has to come from their personalities formed in their respective movies. Many considered that they're not the best role models.

"They don't do anything!" many complained. "They're just damsels waiting for their princes to arrive and in never getting anything done instead relying on their status and/or beauty to get what they want: a man"

And sometimes that's true. Aurora for example, I personally think she is just bland and generic. Everyone knows the movie but she is good at doing nothing at all and her true love Prince Phillip steals the spotlight. And wouldn'tja know it, she still does nothing just for her man to save her. She has nothing unique and doesn't stand out among the other princesses so the argument is pretty valid.

But forget it, I'm going to defend the other ladies. Not that they're always the best, but they have good virtues that can be learned. Snow White's kindness and helpful nature serves as a second mother for the dwarves. Blah blah blah, hard-working, blah blah blah, okay you get the point, watch the Nostalgia Critic's version on this.

In fact, a princess without a king is very popular in the media these days. Princess Sally, Princess Celestia and Luna, Princess Peach, Princess Leia, Princess Lana, Princess Oriana and even more.

All I can say is the world is changing more and more each day and much more variety of female characters is popping out of nowhere. Maybe it's time to move on and see the changes around us and look at what virtues we can enforce.  And looking very clear at that there's a definite option that any female cane be as powerful as she wants to be. And that second place being taken under someone else's wing can come and go.

And let's face it! With so many girls that are good, strong, interesting, funny, entertaining, intelligent, responsible and just as compelling as guys, maybe it's time to put away the princess title and look at unfolding reality that is before us. I'm Doggy and I'm outta here!

Next time on Toons These Days Editorial: Twilight.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Toons these Days: The Croods

Doggy: What in Hanna-Barbera did I just watch?

Conroy: Only the best movie we ever seen! The animation, those animals! And little Ms. Eep.

Doggy: I don't get any of this! Whatja-whoma-whyza, what is this?!

Conroy: Well, the Croods are like the Simpsons. Except they're cavemen and not yellow-skinned. But at least they don't have a God-praising neighbor or an mini-mart owning Hindu.  So what's your favorite character?

Doggy: The family didn't interest me so I have to pick that guy named......Guy. What? He's the one responsible for what mankind is today! Also, what was John Cleese doing here?

Conroy: You see, most aspects of the film are inspired by popular things like the family thing from The Flintstones and Dinosaurs and the family going in before dark is like Minecraft.

Doggy: Yeah yeah yeah. Enough with the jibber-jabber! All I know is that the 3D really gave me a headache. I guess the producers wanted more money to make 50 sequels! My rating, 6.5/10.

Conroy: My rating is 8/10! Readers, if you have the chance, go see this movie!

Doggy: See it in regular-D because 3D makes the mind boggle! When will we get Dragons 2 again?

The end.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Toonland Madness Greatest Hits: Cabin Fever

Toonland Madness Greatest Hits: “Cabin Fever”
Originally performed by the cast of Muppet Treasure Island (minus Tim Curry)
Performed by Jim Cummings, Rob Paulsen, Jeff Bennett and others.
Mayor Cat: I've got cabin fever.
Knuckles: I've got it too!
Bart: I got cabin fever it's burning in my brain
Waddle Doo: I've got cabin fever it's driving me insane
Yakko and Wakko: We got cabin fever, we're flipping our bandanas
Been stuck at sea so long we have simply gone bananas
Chica chica boom
A chica chica boom boom chic
Chica chica boom
A chica chica boom boom chic
ALF and Garfield: We got cabin fever we've lost what sense we had
We got cabin fever, we're all going mad
Raphael: My sanity is hanging by a thread
Since we're going nowhere I've gone out of my head
We were sailing sailing over the bounding main
And now we're not! Ha ha heh!
Smiley: Grab your partner by the ears
Lash him to the wheel
Do-si-do step on his toe
Listen to him squeal
Allemande left, allemande right
It's time to sail or sink
Swing your partner over the side
Drop him in the drink
Sonic: We got cabin fever
Tails: No if's, and's, or but's
Felix: We're disoriented
Woody: And demented
All: And a little nuts
Homer and Popeye: Ach du lieber Volkswagen car
(Rocky: Yodel-lay-ee-hoo)
Sauerkraut and wienerschnitzel
Und the wunder bar
(Bullwinkle: Yodel-lay-ee-hoo)
Applejack: We were sailing, sailing the wind was on our side
Dracula: And then it died
Bugs: I've got cabin fever
I think I've lost my grip
Daffy: I'd like to get my hands on
Whoever wrote this script
Escargoon and Rita: I was floating 'neath a tropic moon
And dreaming of a blue lagoon
Now I'm crazy as a loon
Everyone: Cabin fever has ravaged all aboard
This once proud vessel has become a floating psycho ward
We were sailing, sailing headed who knows where
And now though we're all here
We're not all there
Cabin fever!

Friday, March 8, 2013

Toons These Days: Oz the Great and Powerful

Hey everyone, I'm back from hiatus. As you know I haven't seen this flick but that doesn't mean no review. On with the show.

Doggy: Well whoopity-stinking-doo! Another Wizard of Oz movie made by DISNEY! And it has James Franco and Mila Kunis. Now the first Disney Oz movie was terrible in my eyes so I had Conroy bury it near Ernest Borgnine's tomb.

Anyway, there's this guy named Oscar who is a circus magician and a con man who is whisked away from dusty Kansas to the magical, happy land of Oz where lives cute little Munchkins! I was being sarcastic y'know. He meets this flying bellhop monkey named Whatever, I'll call him Dan. He meets three witches and one of them will be the Wicked Witch of the West! At least this version wasn't a Muppet movie or a Ted Turner/DiC cartoon.

That's all I have to say. Conroy, did you bury "Return to Oz"?

Conroy: I couldn't find his grave so I gave it to a shark who loved eating bad movies.

Doggy: D'oh!

The end.

Friday, March 1, 2013

I'm going on hiatus

Attention everyone! I'm going on hiatus and here's a few reasons why.

1. Schoolwork. There's just too much.
2. I keep scratching because I keep itching. I think I may be getting extremely sick.
3 and final reason. I won't be doing another post for the entire summer.

My next post will be released on March 8th, 2013 with "Toons These Days: Oz: The Great and Powerful". I know it's not a cartoon but it's made by Disney and their last movie was in CGI.

Keep up the follows and stay tuned for more posts in the future. See ya later!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Toons These Days: The Annoying Orange TV Show

Doggy: There's a time in every man's life where they say...why? Why did this happen? Alot of Internet personnel have been incorporated to TV like Pucca and Fred. There is one guy and it's the Annoying Orange. A show about a STINKING fruit! We all know the phrase, "if it's fixed, don't break it" but nowadays its "if it's fixed, CN has the rights".

Cartoon Network has been dishing out a lot of trash like the Looney Tunes Show, Level Up, and most recently Incredible Crew. But this show redeemed themselves. So what's the story?

Well for the webshow, it's about a talking orange who lives in a kitchen that annoys every fruit, veggie or random object he sees. His friends include a pear, a tiny apple, a marshmallow, a grapefruit, a passion fruit, a geezer lemon and also most recently, a squash. Conroy showed it to me and I didn't get it. How can they talk? Why is the orange annoying? How did this get so famous!? The show was created by one Daneboe who liked making talking thing videos.

The story of the cartoon involve these guys living in a grocery store with this guy named Nerville played by Toby Turner. They go on all sorts of crazy adventures like traveling to the center of the earth, flying on a plane, fighting knights, exploring an alien planet made of candy and lots more!

The jokes in the webshow sometimes revolves around them having no limbs. In the cartoon however they can move by hopping.

I think that's all I got for this time. Join me next time as I teach ballet to a class of mice. Try and guess that.

Toons These Days: Jake and the Never Land Pirates

(my Annoying Orange review will be coming out tonight at 7. Don't miss it!)

Doggy: Geez. And I thought Disney's interactive preschool junk were over. Cartoons are meant to entertain, not educate. They wrecked Mickey Mouse and now they ruined Peter Pan with a pointless rip off. And that pointless rip off is named Jake and the Never Land Pirates.

So it's about these kids named Jake, Izzy and Cubby who were marooned on an island. They grew into it and decided to stay. They are joined by their talking parrot Skully. Anyhoo, one day the nefarious Captain Hook plundered the island and even took it over. Remember, this is my own story, there was no pilot episode. The kids battled to the death with him and that old codfish fled with Mr. Smee and two random crew members named Sharky and Bones.

The whipper-snappers took over the island and randomly talk to nobody. That's what happens in some kids shows. And it looks like Pan was killed even though he returned as a spirit in two episodes. The kids friends include the seductive mermaid Marina, an idiot seal and many more. That's all I can think of since the others were so forgettable.

Rating, 2 doubloons out of 5. Glad it didn't make into a feature film! Or else it would've beaten all the other movies at the Oscars like winning every award in the show. Speaking of the Oscars, I gotta get ready.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

State of the Union

I haven't talked about politics in a while, so I'm going to blog about the State of the Union. I'm sick though, so I might not watch the whole thing. I have a fever and a headache and I threw up yesterday. Gross.

People are going into the room. What are those green ribbons for?

Senator Marco Rubio is going to make the Republican response. I don't think I'll make it that long.

My mom was just feeling my forehead for my fever. Then she stuck her finger in my ear and it tickled.

Oh, the green ribbons are in honor of the kids at Sandy Hook.

My mom likes Michelle Obama's hair.

My mom just asked me if I'd like to be at the State of the Union. NO. It looks very loud and crowded. It's probably hot, too. If I were there I might throw up again.

There's Paul Ryan. I still think he should have been the new vice president. Ryan is much younger than Biden and he works out more.

This is taking very long to get started.

The reporter we're watching is talking about how Obama might talk about gun control.

Here comes Obama! He's shaking hands and kissing people. I hope he doesn't get sick from kissing all those people. My mom says I probably caught whatever I have when we went to the Museum and saw the Charlie Brown exhibit last Saturday.

They need to hurry this up. I'm bored.

Obama gave a thumbs up to John Boehner.

Stop clapping and let him talk!

Jack says that Boehner doesn't consider it a privilege or an honor to present Obama! Do you think he's right?

When was "this chamber" built? I'll have to look that up. Jack says 18somethingorother.

Jack hates the line "the state of our union is strong." He says it is so badly written.

If these people keep standing up and clapping, this speech will take a long time.

What ever happened to Bill Clinton? Mom says he is off doing ex-president things.

Obama is talking about budget cuts and medicare and health insurance and reforms and retirement. The government shouldn't make promises they can't keep.

I think I'm done here. I need to take some motrin and go to bed. :-(

Toons These Days: Gumball

Doggy: There are shows that I like, shows that I hate, shows that I deplore and then the Amazing World of Gumball. This is a doozy.

So it's about this cat named Gumball who lives with his 4 year old egghead sister, legged fish, mom, dad in Elmore, somewhere. Where the kid gets into all sorts of wacky adventures like a streak of bad luck, getting his mind off kisses from his grandma and all that. But I gotta say, the show is pretty creative. I mean, we have 2D, CGI, stop-motion and even a live action knee or elbow. Anyway, Gumball's friends include a antlered peanut who's his crush, a ghost, a Sharptooth I mean T-Rex. Sorry, those Land Before Time sequels are still getting to me.

In other words, I like it more than the Problem Solverz. Guess what modern toon I'm reviewing next.

Conroy: Hey Apple, knife!

Friday, February 1, 2013

Toons These Days: The Animated Films of 2012

Doggy: Oh geez. 2012 sure has been a crazy year for us. Not only the Apocalypse didn't happen, but we also had some animated movies the past year. And I'm here to recount these crazy events. So sit back, get some popcorn you saved and join me as we look at the animated films of 2012. By the way, The Rabbi's Cat doesn't count,

The first one is a doozy, since no one knew about it on its release in January. And it's called A Monster in Paris. When I saw it, I didn't know what the heck was going on! They have this rubber beast, a corny private investigator and a blimp. That's all I can say.

The next month, anime master Hayao Miyazaki and Walt Disney Pictures brought one of my favorite books to the big screen under the name of The Secret World of Arietty. Technically I'm cheating here since it was released in Japan in the summer of 2010. But here in America, we got it in February so it counts. I really liked the animation in this one. It's called anime for a reason guys! I also appreciated the work of Bridger Mendler and David Henrie here. It's not too small to be loved.

In March, another Dr. Suess character came to the big screen and this time it's The Lorax. Sorry I complained about the songs in my rant on Sofia the First. I can explain! Let's just get on to the next flick.

To reconcile with guys who hated the character design in Arthur Christmas, (I'm talking to you Brunet) Aardman returned to their claymation roots with the help of Sony in The Pirates! Band of Misfits. Or The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists. Keep in mind that this is the first of three stop-motion films released.

I would've accepted Madagascar 3 to be better than Escape 2 Africa, but it didn't turn out well. The 3D is kinda lazy, the jokes are pretty stale and the bad guy is just another ripoff of a Disney villain, which in this case is Cruella De Vil.

The same month, Pixar stepped in with their first fairytale, Brave. Or The Bear and the Bow to make more sense. The story here is pretty weak but the animation is really cool! I mean, Meridan....Mario....Maid Marian.....Merida's big red locks looks so real! They mastered fur before and now they outdone themselves. We still love you Sulley.

With Blue Sky Studios on thin ice with Ice Age 4, the franchise is really starting to fall. Maybe the next movie will have them all extinct. And to the people outside North America, stop watching this movie! The box office doesn't lie!

For the second stop-motion film of 2012, the makers of Coraline, Laika Animation, has released the first of three Halloween related movies. And the next one is coming up. The name is ParaNorman. A film so innovative that it might get a sequel. Don't get me wrong, some of the animation is on computers.

Now we enter Ice Age 4's lovechild, Hotel Transylvania. Now this movie is directed by Genndy Tartokovsky. The same dude who brought us Dexter's Lab, Samurai Jack and Sym-Biotic Titan. (knocking) I'm not here! Go home!

The last of the Halloween Cartoon Trilogy was directed by Tim Burton. Which is actually a remake of his 1984 live-action short, Frankenweenie. It's not that great unless you count the freaky pets in this. All I can say is that one Disney animator is drawing sketches down at the studio.

Another Disney film released is now the kudigrah of Disney movies: Wreck-It Ralph. It's a movie, that's all I can say.

Rise of the Guardians is obviously the last one that came out. (Dino Time poster pops out) You don't count either! (poster fades) It's like the Avengers of childhood memoirs. All this talking about movies is making me tired.

And that's all I got for the animated features of 2012. Now let's see what 2013 has to offer.

Escape from Planet Earth: Maybe.
The Croods: Lame.
Epic: We'll see.
Monsters University: Okay.
Despicable Me 2: All right.
Turbo: Oy.
Planes: Wait, did they say theaters?
Cloudy 2: Not gonna be good without Mr. T.
Mr. Peabody and Sherman: Might have potential.
Frozen: Hope so!

See you in the cinema fellas! 

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Toons These Days: Doc McStuffins

Doggy: If Dr. House had a Sheriff Woody doll, what would happen? THIS! And it's named Doc McStuffins. Alright, so there's this black kid named Doc for some reason because she is called that by everyone, and she makes her toys come to life with a magic stethoscope. Where did get she that thing, Mordor?!

Anyway, she's like a toy doctor and wants to be a real doctor like her mom when she grows up. Her friends are the adorable cuddle giving Lambie, the brave dragon Stuffy, her nurse Hallie and the cowardly snowman Chilly. Couldn't find any clever names so Disney had to make puns out of names. For a cartoon like this, they couldn't make an antagonist. Couldn't it be like an old teddy bear that's jealous of the toys?

That's enough of that. They have songs in it! Yeah, like Sofia the First couldn't top that. They're not that bad unless you count that stupid tune.

My rating? Six out of ten. Now if you'll excuse me, me and Conroy are gonna get ready for the Super Bowl.   

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Toons These Days: Thomas and Friends

Doggy: Now ask me if talking trains who live on a false advertised island can be possibly be famous? Well, too bad you little schmucks! That train show is Thomas and Friends. A show about a STINKING train! Now the plot is about said stinking train named Thomas who lives with his friends on the Island of Sodor. The peppy Percy, the oldie Toby, the big guy Gordon, the al-coal-holic Henry, the paintjob crazy James, the supposed love interest Emily and lots more. They are controlled by Sir Topham Hatt. A fat guy who always wears a top hat. Or if you live in the UK, the Fat Controller! (rim-shot)

This isn't exactly modern because it came out in the early 80s. It had many famous people narrating for a while like one of the Beatles Ringo Starr, George Carlin, Alec Baldwin and even Pierce Bronson. It's been running for 16 seasons, 401 episodes, a movie and God knows how many specials!

For the animation, it was kinda freaky. For the first few seasons I watched on DVD, it looks exactly like the stop-motion Rankin/Bass specials! If you want more, ask the Bum how he knows. The creators thought moving mouths on trains would give kids nightmares! But years later, they solved the problem with....(drum roll) computer animation!

There's also gonna be another movie set in World War II. I wonder how a certain mustachioed German war leader will think of this?