Thursday, August 6, 2015

This debate

My family is watching the Republican debate and eating Chinese food. I'm eating tacos, since I don't like Chinese food.

10 candidates! That's ridiculous. This looks like a game show.

Ha ha. Of course, Donald Trump says he won't support the chosen Republican.

These guys all look very orange. Did they all apply fake tans, or is it our tv?

Dad was surprised Ben Carson is in the top ten. Carson thinks it is very important to have a brain. Sadly, many of the candidates are brainless! Zing!

Jeb Bush says they called him Jeb in Florida because he earned it. Huh? I don't get it.

Oh, Trump. Why are you so mean to women? Because he doesn't like being politically correct. Okay. What does this have to do with being a jerk to women. Wow! Now he's a jerk to the moderator! Trump thinks he can says anything he wants. How come I get in trouble when I say things without thinking?

Here is Scott Walker: he defunds Planned Parenthood, but didn't really answer the question. I think this is a trend tonight. Don't answer the questions.

Huckabee is being hyperbolic. Hyperbole annoys me. "Huckabee annoys me," says Jack.

Rand Paul -- didn't answer the question. I hate to point this out, but if I answered questions like this in school I would not get good grades.

Immigration!! Bush is actually answering the question. He's written a book about this, you know. Bush says Barack Obama has done nothing for 6 long years.

Here comes da Trump! He has evidence that the Mexcian government is sending criminals. Oh, no, he's not sharing evidence. His evidence is that he visited the border and the border patrol says the American government is stupid. Good to know.

Commercial break -- this debate is stupid. No one is answering any of the questions they are asked. They are just blah blah-ing about whatever they want

This Ohio governor didn't answer the question. Rubio says people from Mexico aren't coming here. It's people from Guatamala and Honduras. But he still didn't answer the question if the American government is stupid.

Scott Walker claims he listens to the American people. Um, what?

Ted Cruz is the only one wearing a striped tie, I think.

Topic switch -- onto TERROR

Off topic: Chris Christie's hair looks very weird.

Rand Paul stands for the BILL OF RIGHTS!

Christie says Paul is a dork. I agree. Rand Paul says Christie hugs Obama. So? I'd hug Obama if he offered. Hugs are great. My great grandma Helen said everyone needed 8 hugs per day to grow.

Back to Ben Carson! He was afraid he wouldn't get to talk again! My cartooning teacher Rich likes Ben Carson. He says Carson has a remarkable life story.

Boy, Trump thinks he's awesome. What does he think about health care? I didn't even understand him. Neither did Rand Paul. Trump says he buys politicians. Do we want a president who just buys things???

Walker says Hillary Clinton has screwed up every country she's touched. "All 112 countries?" Jack asked.

They are all blabbing about education. I'm taking a taco break. Mom says she'll type whatever I have to say.  [He has nothing to say. Too busy eating tacos.]

Michael Fassbender as Steve Jobs -- I'd see that movie.

They are NOT answering the questions we want asked! They're just flapping their gums.

Ben Carson doubts that Hillary would be the Democratic nominee??

Now -- the ECONOMY!!

Jeb Bush -- just said a bunch of stuff. It was like all the topics in one answer.

These candidates keep saying "I'm the only one on this stage who..."

How long is this debate? I'm tired of these guys. Jack says "only 53 more minutes of insanity."

Obamacare is to blame for EVERYTHING. Jack and I are going to start blaming everything on Obamacare. Jack wants to retroactively blame his Geometry grade on Obamacare. Dad says "keep dreamin'"

Can you even imagine Trump as president?  How many people could he insult? Ha ha. The moderator is laughing because Trump is ridiculous.

I think I'd like to be a small business owner. I don't know what I'd make or do, though.

I don't know how much more of this I can watch.  I should be keeping a list of who actually answered their questions.  But social issues are next, so lets see what they say.

This is the debate bingo card. We've been going through the squares to see what we get.

Ha ha. Is Trump even a Republican? He's evolving. He says Reagan also evolved. Ronald Reagan stopped evolving, though, since he's DEAD.

I think I like Jeb Bush best. He's cheerful and positive and I like his glasses. Even Trump thinks he's a gentleman.  The rest of these guys are kind of goofy.

Top goofs: 1.) Trump (goof in chief) 2.) Rand Paul 3.) Scott Walker  4.) Huckabee  5.) Ted Cruz

Not very goofy: 1.) Bush 2.) Kasich

Jack is looking us how much everyone has spoken. Trump has spoken for 7.5 minutes. Rand Paul has only gotten to talk for 2.5 minutes. I think I'd rather listen to Trump.

Huckabee says the purpose of the military is to kill people and break things.

Benghazi!  It only took someone 1 hour and 42 minutes to say Benghazi!

I'm having an ice cream sandwich. Mom has the keyboard again.

Chris Christie has an American flag pin in the shape of New Jersey! We can't make fun of NJ because mom was born there.

After the break, the candidates and God are going to make their final statements.

There was just a Dulcolax commercial. Mom wants to know if that is their target audience -- constipated people?

Does this count as Cruz's final statement? Or was that just his God answer?

Kasich is not answering the question. Did God speak to you, Y/N? Not hard.

Walker said God didn't give him a list.

Rubio thinks God has blessed the Republican party. Jack wonders if God really pays attention to the US political process.

Walker is nodding like a Ben Carson fanboy. That's the second time they've shown him doing that.

uh oh -- here comes Rand Paul!  Blah Blah Blah. He says he's a different kind of republican. "Yes, he's a libertarian," says Jack.

Jack is swearing while Cruz speaks. Watch your language, Buster!

And we're done. Dad changed the channel to watch Jon Stewart's last show. He asked if we thought the candidates would say anything new in the closing statements. We all agreed they would NOT.