Tuesday, January 20, 2015

State of the Union

So I have to do another live-blog on yet another state of the Union address........yay.

IN THIS CORNER, MARCHING IN, THE PRESIDENT OF PRESENTERS, THE CHANCELLOR OF CHICAGO..........BARRRRRACK OBAMA!!!!!!! If I were the sergeant of arms, this is how I would introduce Obama. Complete with Balboa music.

15 years into this new century, eh?

Obama says the Afghanistan conflict is over.

We want an economy where a few people do spectacularly well, and one of those would be Scrooge McDuck.

And we have a lady in the audience who is from Minneapolis, Minnesota!

Sacrificed? Don't mind if I do! (starts roasting the creator of Brickleberry over a fire) I love the smell of Daniel Tosh bears over a fire in the evenin'.

Our younger students have excellent reading and math scores? Well I'm not doing so hot in math so how is Obama helping ME?

If a bill comes to my desk that is completely phooey, I will EAT IT!

So we want to contribute in America's success? Especially the greedy nutcases in this world? I'm all for that.

So now we have middle class economics. So we should stop treating childcare like a side issue! Does that mean us kids will actually get some respect in this world for once?

Sent a generation of G.Is to college. I wonder how many were named Joe?

Obama's plans for college proposals are 2 years free community college, expanding and funding technical training. That's pretty cool.

21st century companies need 21st century info-structure. So that's why Nintendo is doing perfectly okay! And also 21st century science and technology.As long as they don't expect me to contribute to the 21st century math.

Obama also mentions diabetes. Because....potatoes. (In loving memory of the Youtube channel of Mr. Enter. Because Viacom and Fox are greedy jerks.)

Tax reform proposals are........I don't got no jokes.

Our airstrikes against ISIS are skyrocketing in Iraq but still getting there in Syria.What's the answer?

I have no idea what everyone is saying! (pulls out a big toothy grin only to snicker seconds later)

And now we move on to climate change.

And on to more important things like accepting EVERYTHING: religions, sexuality, people, etc.

Obama is walking out through a parade of hugs and kisses and handshakes.

The commentators said this is the last State of the Union that anyone will pay attention to -- we will be in the midst of presidential elections the next time he speaks. And he will be on his way out the door.









 



Thursday, January 15, 2015

Into the Woods review

Last weekend, my family went to see Disney's Into the Woods. This was a film adaptation of a musical by Steven Sondheim, taking a bunch of fairytales and squeezed them all within the span of 124 minutes such as Jack and the Beanstalk, Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Rapunzel and an original tale about a childless baker couple.

There was a lot of singing and it mostly stood true to the source material. I think the actors fit the characters well. My mom was annoyed by the boy who played Jack, because he played Gavroche in Les Miserables and she hates Gavroche and little Cosette. Meryl Streep was great as the Witch. The actor who played the Baker had a funny role on Dr. Who, so we liked him too. The Wolf, played by Johnny Depp, was DEFINITELY creepy! My mom says Johnny Depp specializes in playing creepy characters. I felt like the Wolf's costume was very Tex Avery-esque and that was a good thing.

In other news, my mom's friends Lizz and Erik had a baby the other day. Good for them! Welcome to the earth, Asher. I hope you enjoy life.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Top 5 Death Battles I want to See

Ah Death Battle, the brutal Internet series where two fictional characters of similar caliber duke it out! Whether it be the tenacious Super Saiyan against the Man of Steel, the Boy who Lived against the Jedi that offed Darth Vader or even Nintendo's pink puffball against Dragon Ball's deadliest villain, Wiz and Boomstick have been analyzing combatants and trolling fanboys for five whole years! But as with many series like Epic Rap Battles of History, people have been requesting many battles for them to bring to life and that's what I'm doing today. Like what the experts do, the rules are simple:

  1. Combatants possess no non-canon knowledge of each other.
  2. Personality restraints from killing are removed.
  3. All other character traits, tactics and attributes are not removed, and largely attempted to be represented faithfully.
  4. Research sources are generally determined equally unless specified.
So, let's get started!

5. Vector the Crocodile vs Leatherhead
Now I'm not just saying this can happen just because they're both reptiles, I'm saying this because both franchises feature anthropomorphic animal characters & a human villain and both characters have quite a lot of strength. The plot for this would be that the Chaotix are hired by Shredder to take down Leatherhead and Vector is the only one that can stop him. This could easily be a very balanced battle that could tick off either the Sonic fanboys or the Turtles fanbase. Ah who cares!

4. Monkey D Luffy vs Jack Sparrow
Luffy vs Popeye was enough, but how about Luffy against a LIVE-ACTION pirate. With Straw Hat's powers of the Gum-Gum Fruit, he could easily have the upper hand and tell Jack who is the true king of the pirates! Anyway, the Black Pearl crew assault a fancy ship known as the S.S. Macbeth only to find the Strawhat Pirates also onboard. There, that good enough?

3. Hercules vs Kratos
Now before you ask which Herc, I'm leaning towards the Disney version as I'm more familiar with that one and HE CAN PUNCH HADES INTO THE RIVER STYX WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT! As for the plot, former God of War Ares makes a bet with Hades to see which one of their enemies is more powerful. Now this is a battle rich with anger and satanic hormones!

2. Teen Titans vs Ginyu Force
Five vs five, my kind of brawl. Angered over his loss against Goku, Frieza decides to take out his rage on someone else and that would be the Teen Titans! The order would go as so:
  • Beast Boy vs Guldo
  • Starfire vs Recoome
  • Robin and Cyborg vs Jeice and Burter
  • Raven vs Ginyu
Speaking of Dragon Ball Z.....

1. Goku vs Ryu
After Goku vs Superman, DBZ fanboys were aflurry with rage. And then Kirby vs Buu came along and made them even more angry. So the only way they can redeem themselves is pit Goku against another fictional martial artist, specifically the iconic protagonist of Street Fighter. This could easily be the most insanest fight ever and bring back more past combatants after what happened in Batman vs Captain America. And even though it's not real, please bring in Super Saiyan 5!

Well, this was a long one but it was worth it!

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Sonic the Hedgehog Kai

This is a new thing I'm developing that's pretty much a reboot of the Sonic the Hedgehog mythos where the original Genesis trilogy already happened and some games are adapted.

THE STORY: Welcome to the planet Mobius, home to humans, knockoff Disney characters and the blue hero himself Sonic the Hedgehog! In the year 2252, one Ivan Kintobor caused a nuclear explosion so HUGE that it wiped out most of humanity plus saving and/or mutating a few. Now, his descendant Dr. Eggman J.I. Robotnik along with other villains threaten the safety of the planet only to be stopped by Sonic and his merry men the Freedom Fighters!

THE SAGAS:
  1. Origins (adapted from the original Genesis games and includes Jules: The Father of Sonic)
  2. Eggman Saga
  3. Chaos Saga (Sonic Adventure 1)
  4. Shadow Saga (takes place after the Chaos Saga)
  5. Nocturne Saga (Chronicles)
  6. Ixis Naugus Saga (partially inspired by the King Piccolo saga from Dragon Ball)
  7. Emerl Saga (Sonic Advance 1, 2, 3 and Battle)
  8. Metallix Saga (Heroes)
  9. Rush Saga (Rush and Rush Adventure)
  10. Tylex Saga
  11. Eggman Nega Saga (Rivals 1 and 2)
  12. Babylon Saga (Riders series and Tails Adventure)
  13. Dark Gaia Saga (Unleashed)
  14. Wisp Saga (Colors and Sonic X's Metarex saga)
  15. Time Eater Saga (Generations and '06)
AND LOTS MORE.......that I can't write enough of because that takes A LOT of work.

There are also lots of characters from other Sonic media in this like Scratch and Grounder, a ton of Archie/Fleetway characters and a lot I can't list.

Well, this is all I can offer but don't expect me to actually write this.


Monday, January 5, 2015

Would U like to Play?

Well, now that Christmas has passed. I might as well list what I received from my loved ones.

Might as well start with the more important stuff! I got a Wii U, more specifically the deluxe version which was black and can hold 32gb. The games I received with it were Super Smash Bros U, Mario Kart 8, Captain Toad Treasure Tracker, Super Mario 3D World and NintendoLand. The last one I didn't care much for. A few days after, I got Hyrule Warriors and have yet to play Pikmin 3.

I also got two 3DS games: Pokemon Omega Ruby and Frozen Olaf's Quest. I've been a big fan of Pokemon since I played Pokemon White and it's a very enjoyable entry. I've also been watching the anime which I really need to catch up on. And Olaf's Quest is a very fun platformer with lots of re-playability and even a few levels have Marshmallow in them. Before I move on to the others, CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO GET PAST THE POKEMON LEAGUES?!

Here are the other things I got.
  • Teen Titans Season 1 DVD
  • Gravity Falls Dipper and Mabel's Guide to Mystery and Nonstop Fun
  • The Simpsons 17 DVD
  • Minecraft Hacks book
  • Calvin and Hobbes "Something Under the Bed is Drooling" book
  • The Simpsons 2015 calender
  • Lego Ghostbusters Ecto-1 set
  • Gravity Falls Even Stranger DVD
Well, that's all for tonight everyone. As a wise pig once said "Thththththththththththat's all folks!"

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

A lot of Random Clips

(static, cut to Sonic and Tails scaling a building '60s Batman style)

Tails: Alright Sonic, we should be reaching Eggman who is a couple more floors away. (suddenly, Ezio Auditore from Assassin's Creed appears beside the duo climbing the same building as them)
Ezio: Greetings civilians, I am looking for Masyaf Castle in which under it holds a library of vast knoweldge. Can you lead me there?
Sonic: Try looking for Leonardo da Vinci, Mr. Climber. No wait, he's dead. Okay, try looking at your local library.
Ezio: Thank you. (he continues climbing)
Sonic: Hm, that guy sounded familiar.

(static, cut to Mario standing off against Bowser as usual)
Mario: Alright-a Bowser, this has gone on for long enough!
Bowser: Yeah......you're right. I mean, I've spent 25 years kidnapping the same princess over and over again. Don't you think I should see other occupations?
Mario: I think I know just the job for you.......
(following that sequence, Bowser receives his own video game......which instantly fails due to the massive glitches)
Mario: At least it was less glitchy than Sonic 06.

(static, cut to Pac-Man in Dr. Mario's office)
Dr. Mario: You have diabetes from eating those ghosts

(static, cut to Mega Man getting a tune-up)
Mega Man: My life energy and weapon energy are full!
Dr. Light: Indeed Rock, but there is one small glitch I discovered....
Mega Man: No time Doctor, I gotta Wilies to bu(he then explodes)
Dr. Light: The glitch is that you'll be explosion prone. Maybe I should've used OCP's technology.

Monday, December 15, 2014

The Blog Post that Time Forgot

Man, has it been a long while since my last post, but now I'm back baby! With a review. And no, it's not a continuation of the first part of the Eevee and Friends review. Instead, I'll be viewing the recent Toy Story special Toy Story That Time Forgot.


This one starts two days after Christmas at Bonnie's house. What, you thought it was going to be a flashback thing about how Andy first got Woody? Well too bad! Anyway, Trixie isn't happy with how she isn't be played like a dinosaur, which takes us into the main theme of this special: You can play however the heck you wanna play. We then get introduced to one of of the many new characters in this, Angel Kitty, voiced by Emma Hudak who doesn't even have her own Wikipedia page. Following that, Bonnie goes to a playdate at her friend's, who is yet another new character, Mason who got a new video game system and a ginormous line of toys known as the Battlesaurs for Christmas.

It turns out that these toys are really insane because Mason hasn't played with them and their leader known simply as The Cleric is the only one who knows they're toys. So after Trixie and Rex suit up, the games begin as.....a sock monkey gets torn apart and two other toys lose their heads. Y'KNOW, FOR KIDS! Also, some other Battlesaurs take the other toys hostage and Trixie starts having the hots for another one named Reptillus Maximus. Soon our two heroes from the first three films escape and tell they don't know they're toys, even Buzz finds it amazing. I GET IT!

Back to the special, Woody and Buzz are swallowed up by this big fat Battlesaur which leads Trixie to find Bonnie to save them and Cleric orders Reptillius to stop her. He then discovers his own packaging during the chase while the evil Cleric tries to get rid of Woody, Buzz and Angel Kitty using Rex, against the not-very-scary dino's will. Unlucky for Lord Purple, Trixie finds the console's setup strip and is stopped by Reptillus but our triceratops tells him the importance of being a toy, which leads to a change of heart and being found by Mason. He and Bonnie then start playing with the Battlesaurs which saves our unlucky Stooges from their ventilated demise.

After the toys head home and tell the others of their adventure, Reptillus awaits Trixie's return next Tuesday sometime at 3:30. This was a really great special even if it doesn't center around the holidays much. I would also give Pixar props for actually having characters killed brutally harmed, ONSCREEN TO BE EXACT! Looks like Lasseter is taking some notes from Gravity Falls.

Anyways, I give this.........5 out of 5 stars. Well, hope that please you on my return!