Monday, October 20, 2014

Some jolly ol' crackers

I'm bored so why don't we pass the time with some good old fashioned jokes!


Why are math books always sad? Because they have so many PROBLEMS! (from my mom's friend Wendy)


Why did the hero flush the toilet? Because it was his DOODY!
(got that one from Wreck-It Ralph)


What did the butt say to the other butt? You CRACK me up little buddy!

That's all I got, folks.



Thursday, October 16, 2014

NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!

A little bird told me (that little bird being the Internet) that The Lego Movie will have a spin-off film featuring Batman as the main character set for release in 2017, pushing TLM's sequel to the year after that.

Now let's take some time to speculate on one thing: what's the plot? Maybe Joker will create his Kragle that freezes targets upon them going insane. I know that sounds a little dark even for a widely-successful animated film based on a line of construction toys but it's Batman, what do you expect? Or maybe it will be inspired by the old Adam West series. Maybe not since one, that would be too cheesy and two, the first part of the upcoming Zack Snyder Justice League movie would be given a bad name simply because it was released the same year as that other movie.

Alright I've got a great idea. Joker teams up with some fellow Gotham baddies (I'd pick Penguin, Mr. Freeze and the Riddler) to take over the city and eventually the entire Lego universe by using Kragle made out of Kryptonite! I know it may sound ridiculous and the Kryptonite part may be a slight step into crossover territory but DC just adores crossovers and maybe we can see Superman in the film like in Lego Batman 2.

I must go now, my grades needs me. And remember, everything is AWESOME!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Oculus R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-OCK ON!

I tried out the Oculus Rift goggles at Have Dreams, and they were awesome!

The Oculus Rift is a set of VR goggles that people can use to play games on it. The one used at Have Dreams had a Minecraft coaster that gave a lot of people nausea. Other games ported to the Rift were Team Fortress 2, Left 4 Dead, Half-Life, Portal and many more. Minecraft however wasn't lucky after the goggles were purchased by Facebook but there's still a mod for it!

At snack time, the other kids and I thought up several games that would work for the Oculus like a first-person version of Mario.

Shorter than one of the last ones I churned out but farewell.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Date for Debate!

Tonight Gov. Pat Quinn and Candidate Bruce Rauner debate each other! Some guy named Jak Tichenor is the moderator.

Opening statements by coin toss:

Quinn: Governors in jail! Budget deficit! all bad when he took office. But now -- jobs are up, unemployment is down. Education is good!

Rauner: thank you thank you thank you.  He seems nervous. Machine politicians! Crime! Unemployment! All bad!

Question #1 -- from Amanda Vinicky.  Who on the other side of the political fence do you most admire and think you could work wth?

Rauner -- I like to work with everyone!

Quinn -- I work with everyone! I like everyone!

They are both wearing striped ties -- Quinn has blue and silver, Rauner has blue and red.

Rauner seems befuddled. Is he prepared for this? Preparation for public speaking is key.

Chrysler and Belvedere had 400 jobs when he started. Now they have 4,000! says Gov. Quinn

Illinois has lost over 40,000 manufacturing jobs since Quinn took office. Illinois is hostile to manufacturing firms. Is this true? How do you find out if this is true?

Climate Change -- is it true? Rauner says we need a "broad base of energy." Doesn't say if he believes in climate change. Oh! He likes fracking -- my mom's friend Darsa HATES fracking!

Quinn says we need to take on climate change. We need energy efficiency.

Amanda Vinicky asked if Rauner ever hired someone who was a novice to work for him. He blah blah blahed and didn't answer the question.

Burn! Quinn said Rauner has been involved in 12 bankrupt companies!

Education!!  Rauner says we are 48th in the 50 states for education funding. Mom snorted and said we are 48th for funding care of the disabled, so that figures.

Pension protection clause -- were the Illinois Constitution framers right?  Rauner thinks we should freeze the current pension where they are, then create a new pension plan for people.

Quinn passed a bipartisan pension reform plan.  Quinn says we shouldn't talk about the pension protection clause right now.

$10 per hour minimum wage thing on the ballot. Would this destroy the economy. Quinn favors raising the minimum wage. Raising the minimum wage supports social justice.

Rauner says Quinn has NOT raised the minimum wage and Illinois fails on jobs. FAILS!

Rauner keeps talking about "political football." The questioner asked about something in Kansas, but Rauner started talking about something else. Do these guys know how to answer actual questions?

Quinn says Rauner supports unfair taxes. If Rauner gets his way, we'll have to pay taxes on garbage pickup.

Quinn competes for everyone's votes! He wants all the votes!

rauner says Quinn is trying to buy African American votes! Rauner says he and his wife are total supporters of the black community! They care deeply for the African Americans. My mom reminds us he lives in Winnetka, where they didn't used to allow black people after dark.

Quinn says Rauner had 51 executives in his investment from and none of them are African Americans. This came in an question in about worker's comp. Huh? Again, do these guys know how to answer a question?

Waste and fraud in medicaid is out of control, says Rauner. Waste and fraud!

This Amanda Vinicky always looks so cheerful! I like her!

Quinn says he isn't perfect since no human being is. Quinn says he takes responsibility when things goes wrong, but Rauner doesn't.

"What service would you cut, Governor?" Quinn isn't answering. He's just blabbing.

Rauner says he would cut the Dept of Central Management Services, because it has no point.

Quinn passed a budget he didn't like because we need to have a working budget. Then he said more about Rauner's service taxes.  Vinicky says no one can make the numbers in Rauner's budget add up -- would he please make them add up. He is blabbing about growing jobs and how Chicago politicians are running things. He didn't do any adding.

Prisons -- rehabilitate inmates so people don't keep going back to jail. How will they do it? Rauner says blah blah and thinks we should help non-violent offenders. We need to change! But no answers how.  Quinn says prison guards support him. Ha!  Quinn says there are programs to help people get jobs after they get out of jail.

Closing statements --

Quinn -- thank you! The heart of Illinois, the heart of a volunteer, is the heart of America! He wants to invest in all kinds of things.

Rauner -- he loves Illinois passionately. He wants to make Illinois better. Blagojevich and Quinn have ruined Illinois and only Rauner can fix it! Excited to go to work and fix things!

Good night from Peoria!






Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Doom

My mom and grandma were talking about that guy in Dallas who died of ebola. "We're all screwed," I told my mom. She says she doesn't think so. She said that since I don't know anyone who has ebola and have never been to Dallas, I'm safe. I guess so.

Jack keeps giving me big wet smooches and telling me he's giving me ebola. Mom yells at him, because he has a cold, and she doesn't want me to catch it. I got really mad at Jack earlier this evening and screamed "may the demons whisper your name, John Christopher!!!" Mom  said she was sick of both of us. Jack needs to stop trying to spread contagion and disease, and I'm not allowed to invoke Satan in the house.  Jack says mom is no fun.

Dad is in Brazil right now. He sent us a picture of the beach. Mom got very sad, because he's on a beach and she is listening to us talk about ebola and demons. I think she doesn't appreciate our sparkling insanity.

Monday, October 6, 2014

For the Bigwigs

Mom wants me to do vlogs for Youtube, but I'd rather not. You see, vlogging is not really my thing because I'd rather show my face in actual public instead of talking to the 35 year old basement dwellers.

The more explanatory reason why I'd not do vlogging is because I don't want to end up like said basement dwellers. Besides, we all know how often they appear in the fanbases of such characters as Daffy Duck or Sonic.

Well I know this is a pretty short one but seeya!


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Ain't no Smoker

I went to the allergist today, and the doctor asked me if I've been smoking which got me a little ticked off. First of all, I thought you can smoke at like 18 or 20 meaning I'd be too young until now. Secondly, I'd get a one way ticket to lung cancer and eventually death. Third, drugs are just pointless anyway. But, the dr said that they are required by law to ask about smoking once a patient turns 13. Crazy.

Plus, she asked me if I drink, which mom says makes you do stupid things and then makes you sick. If I drank, I'd wouldn't want to find myself knocked out on the curb. The whole idea sounds horrible.