Wednesday, December 17, 2014

A lot of Random Clips

(static, cut to Sonic and Tails scaling a building '60s Batman style)

Tails: Alright Sonic, we should be reaching Eggman who is a couple more floors away. (suddenly, Ezio Auditore from Assassin's Creed appears beside the duo climbing the same building as them)
Ezio: Greetings civilians, I am looking for Masyaf Castle in which under it holds a library of vast knoweldge. Can you lead me there?
Sonic: Try looking for Leonardo da Vinci, Mr. Climber. No wait, he's dead. Okay, try looking at your local library.
Ezio: Thank you. (he continues climbing)
Sonic: Hm, that guy sounded familiar.

(static, cut to Mario standing off against Bowser as usual)
Mario: Alright-a Bowser, this has gone on for long enough!
Bowser: Yeah......you're right. I mean, I've spent 25 years kidnapping the same princess over and over again. Don't you think I should see other occupations?
Mario: I think I know just the job for you.......
(following that sequence, Bowser receives his own video game......which instantly fails due to the massive glitches)
Mario: At least it was less glitchy than Sonic 06.

(static, cut to Pac-Man in Dr. Mario's office)
Dr. Mario: You have diabetes from eating those ghosts

(static, cut to Mega Man getting a tune-up)
Mega Man: My life energy and weapon energy are full!
Dr. Light: Indeed Rock, but there is one small glitch I discovered....
Mega Man: No time Doctor, I gotta Wilies to bu(he then explodes)
Dr. Light: The glitch is that you'll be explosion prone. Maybe I should've used OCP's technology.

Monday, December 15, 2014

The Blog Post that Time Forgot

Man, has it been a long while since my last post, but now I'm back baby! With a review. And no, it's not a continuation of the first part of the Eevee and Friends review. Instead, I'll be viewing the recent Toy Story special Toy Story That Time Forgot.


This one starts two days after Christmas at Bonnie's house. What, you thought it was going to be a flashback thing about how Andy first got Woody? Well too bad! Anyway, Trixie isn't happy with how she isn't be played like a dinosaur, which takes us into the main theme of this special: You can play however the heck you wanna play. We then get introduced to one of of the many new characters in this, Angel Kitty, voiced by Emma Hudak who doesn't even have her own Wikipedia page. Following that, Bonnie goes to a playdate at her friend's, who is yet another new character, Mason who got a new video game system and a ginormous line of toys known as the Battlesaurs for Christmas.

It turns out that these toys are really insane because Mason hasn't played with them and their leader known simply as The Cleric is the only one who knows they're toys. So after Trixie and Rex suit up, the games begin as.....a sock monkey gets torn apart and two other toys lose their heads. Y'KNOW, FOR KIDS! Also, some other Battlesaurs take the other toys hostage and Trixie starts having the hots for another one named Reptillus Maximus. Soon our two heroes from the first three films escape and tell they don't know they're toys, even Buzz finds it amazing. I GET IT!

Back to the special, Woody and Buzz are swallowed up by this big fat Battlesaur which leads Trixie to find Bonnie to save them and Cleric orders Reptillius to stop her. He then discovers his own packaging during the chase while the evil Cleric tries to get rid of Woody, Buzz and Angel Kitty using Rex, against the not-very-scary dino's will. Unlucky for Lord Purple, Trixie finds the console's setup strip and is stopped by Reptillus but our triceratops tells him the importance of being a toy, which leads to a change of heart and being found by Mason. He and Bonnie then start playing with the Battlesaurs which saves our unlucky Stooges from their ventilated demise.

After the toys head home and tell the others of their adventure, Reptillus awaits Trixie's return next Tuesday sometime at 3:30. This was a really great special even if it doesn't center around the holidays much. I would also give Pixar props for actually having characters killed brutally harmed, ONSCREEN TO BE EXACT! Looks like Lasseter is taking some notes from Gravity Falls.

Anyways, I give this.........5 out of 5 stars. Well, hope that please you on my return!

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Good Grief Chris Wedge!

A new trailer for the upcoming Peanuts movie is now out which was leaked by a few screenshots a few days ago. Now after my Honest Trailer parody, I now must do this. By the way, this is for my mom's friend Darsa.

So we open with Woodstock and his fellow birds decorating Snoopy's famous doghouse for the holidays complete with the iconic tune by Vince Guaraldi. One thing I really love about this forthcoming feature is that it combines the classic style with 3D visuals, which makes me think it's actually pre-rendered visuals like the old Donkey Kong games by Rare. Anyway, Snoopy wakes up and becomes the WWI Flying Ace to battle the Red Baron once again. Complete with a pop song? Despite this surprise, I'm alright as long as they don't make Linus interact with the Great Pumpkin on Skype or have Snoopy and his various siblings do the Harlem Shake, although that last one would be funny. Snoopy then lands in the ornament box and uses Woodstock to light up the decorations. The trailer ends with Charlie Brown failing yet again to catch a break as he blocks everyone's view and getting a popcorn bucket stuck on his head, complete with his trademark "good grief."

Like I said, this film combines the classic style with 3D visuals, which makes me ask why can't Hollywood do this for all CG films based off of classic properties. Genndy Tartakovsky is doing it with Popeye and a new Smurfs movie transforms the original Peyo drawings to computers. Then again, there could be a Gravity Falls movie directed by M. Night Shyamalan, produced by Uwe Boll and starring Shia LaBeouf & Kristen Stewart as Dipper and Mabel.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Honest Trailers parody: Sonic Boom

In 1991, a gaming legend was introduced as the secondary sworn enemy to Nintendo's Mario and that was Sonic the Hedgehog! Now in 2014, our little blue blur has returned.....now with extra sports tape! What you thought turning into a Nathan Drake clone wasn't enough?

Join Sonic, his friend, a new character which everyone believed to be a redesign of Marine the Raccoon and various colorful characters as they battle the evil Dr. Robot...I mean Eggman! Who doesn't even look like an egg anymore, I guess someone has been working out.

See Sonic and the gang on endless adventures on a new cartoon show on the one and only Cartoon Network which really needs to get back on it's feet a bit. Seriously guys, renewing Johnny Test was one thing but RUINING THE REPUTATION OF A FAMOUS ANIMATED SERIES BASED OFF OF A DC COMICS TEAM IS DIGGING YOUR GRAVE EVEN DEEPER!

You can also buy two new games for the Wii U and 3DS: Rise of Lyric and Shattered Crystal! But I would recommend the 3DS version as the Wii U one is glitchy but still isn't as glitchy as Sonic 06.

If you were born without a TV or video games in your life you can check out the new comic book series by Archie, the guys who've brought Mary-Sues, recolors, cheap fanfics and so much more. And whoever hired that jerk Ken Penders needs to be dragged to the place where Bruce Wayne's parents were killed and shot. And Penders too.

STARRING......

Nathan Drake,

Numbah Two,

Hulk Hogan,

Princess Peach,

Rescuers Down Under reject

And Porco Rosso.

Sonic Boom: speeding your way to television, gaming consoles and printing presses now!

So. if the TV show was given a better time slot, maybe it would've saved the network! I am the most genius man ever! That way, we can bring back all the great shows they screwed over like Thundercats, Green Lantern and Young Justice. But it's not likely to happen as kids today "don't want this." LIES!!!!

Monday, November 17, 2014

New fanfic idea

I've thought up this fanfiction featuring superheroes of all kinds called "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" and ever since watching a few Youtube videos about them, it hit me.

The story is about a new villain that poses a major threat to not only the world, but all of existence. To combat this new evil, the Avengers join forces with their longtime rivals the Justice League of America along with some other heroes such as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the Tick, Big Hero 6, the Incredibles and so much more. It also features a special appearance from the titular action team of the long-forgotten Disney Super Sentai knockoff, Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go. I wonder how the Sentiels can fare against the Super Robot.

And like any other Marvel superhero flick, it will feature a cameo from Stan Lee and a post credits scene featuring an assembly of comic book villains led by Doc Ock and Lex Luthor featuring baddies like Ultron, Shredder and......LOKI?! (Belt from "The Croods" pops out of nowhere and performs his trademark 'dun dun dun' before disappearing.) And where did he come from?!

Well, after that I feel it's time to hit the hay.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Zap to It!

A Nintendo Direct was released today showing off mostly 3DS games, Wii U games, amiibo, DLC and much more. Now to get things started!

A 3D version of the Zelda classic Majora's Mask was announced as leaked by Target. Like its predecessor Ocarina of Time 3D, it features improved character models and stereoscopic 3D. The European release will feature a pin badge, double-sided poster and a steelbook.....whatever that it.

More about Hyrule Warriors was revealed including that the Link Amiibo figure will unlock the Spinner from Twilight Princess as DLC. This can also mean the figures of Zelda, Sheik, Ganondorf and Toon Link will get players something as well.

Tons of DLC has been revealed for Mario Kart 8 that involves other Nintendo franchises such as Zelda, F-Zero, Animal Crossing and Excitebike. Playable characters that will also be in are Tanooki Mario, Cat Peach, Link, Dry Bowser, Villager, Isabelle and multi-colored Yoshis and Shy Guys. The only character I'm sore with are Tanooki and Cat as they could've been costumes for Mario and Peach but it at least gives Nintendo a chance to expand the ever-controversial race roster.

Duck Hunt is officially revealed as a playable character for Smash 4 even though we've known that since the ESRB leaks. They also shown off a Duck Hunt themed stage for the Wii U version and a trophy representing the indie game BIT.TRIP, in which Nintendo published.

There will be several Wii U games to be compatible with Amiibo besides Super Smash Bros such as the already released Mario Kart 8 and Hyrule Warriors along with new titles like Captain Toad Treasure Tracker, Mario Party 10 and Yoshi's Woolly World.

3rd-party game Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate has plenty of DLC themed after other games such as Metroid, Zelda, Sonic and Mega Man. But the latest one has to be the Mario Bros suits for your Palico pal. We've had Mario as a cat and now we have a cat as Mario. What would PETA do about that, say cats are evil creatures that turn humans into clothing?

And that's all I can collect about the new Direct. Farewell, and keep on Smashing!
 

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Yet another Debate

Tonight, elections are going on for the House, Senate, and some governors and Jack, Grandma and I are watching it on CNN. It started with some talking then after the commercial break, we finally got on the action in Kentucky in the battle between Alison Grimes and Mitch McConnell.


And now the National US House is saying Obama and Congress aren't doing their jobs well and the country is on the wrong track. Wow, America is more angry than Daffy Duck!


Global warming is still a problem, so that's good.


Something something Republic gardeners, moving on!


Jake Tapper says we're gonna have a sugar high tonight and have a good night's sleep. This guy I can support!


Our contenders are walking up to the stage at Shaheen HQ, wherever that it. There's also Brown HQ, Cotton HQ, wow they'll make an HQ out of everything!


We're back at the Election Center as we anticipate the big event that will determine the fate of both America and our sanity. The Republics need to add 6 six more seats to their already 51.


McConnell needs one more vote to win in only three minutes left! Who will reign victorious?


Joe Johnson and Nick Valencia report from polls in Lexington, Kentucky and Lawrencevill, Georgia. And from what I see, nobody gives an acorn about Georgia.


Now we only have 30 seconds left! (makes random anime reaction noises)


5.....4........3.......2.............1! Mitch wins!


Now we move onto Virginia and South Carolina and 34 Democrats are coming back.


Niki Haley wins South Carolina while Georgia and Vermont are still deciding.


Allison Grimes wins the women's vote while Mitch wins the men's. How surprising.


Party control of the US is important.


And there's more talking.


Now someone was saved by a pizza boy, how excitingly mouthwatering!


Now we have have too many bumpers centering on the election, but I'm hyped!


The race stills goes on as Nort Carolina, Ohio and the third one!


Whites are owning it in voting which makes me feel bad for the other races in America.


The next polls close in only 1 minute!


Charlie Crist is beating Rick Scott in this one! Which makes me wonder if Rick is related to Ridley Scott of Alien franchise fame.


Shelly Moore wins West Virginia!


34 Dems and Repubs are in the race!


John Kasich has been reelected as governor of Ohio.


Virginia now has Mark Warner and Jim Gilmore to handle!


Perdue and Nunn are still in it on Georgia.


We now have our first hiccup for control in this, which means it can't be good.


Okay, this may take a while. Virginia is still working, blah blah blah, now watch me take a long slow sip from this random empty mug!


I think that's enough for now. The real question is who will win tonight? AND DON'T SUBMIT TO COOKIE BOREDOM!!!!!