Saturday, March 30, 2013

Toons These Days Editorial: Why hate Princesses

(Doggy appears onscreen sitting behind an office desk with a snack bowl, typewriter and an ashtray. Rather than wearing his normal hat, Doggy wears a visor, glasses and a necktie)

Doggy: Hello there guys. Today I have an important topic: "Why hate Princesses"

Considering that every little girl wants to be a princess with their elegant beauty, kind heart and enchanted surroundings, grownups were getting kinda suspicious. Seems kinda strange because princesses are girls too y'know! Heck, my good friend the Nostalgia Critic ranted about them in the media.

NC: You're not a princess, you just took the title because it sounds cute!

You see, there was a tiny controversey considered the princess anti-feminist because she always gets captured by some evil person and a prince has to save her.

Is it just innocent make-believe or something to get angry about?

Now to answer this question, let's look at the most famous princesses straight from Disney!

These guys just reinvented the fairy tale and seeing how their princess line is the most legendary entertainment line, they have a clear understanding why princesses are so popular. What do they have in common? Well, they're all pretty, kind, various clothes and accessories you can buy for them, but the intrigue of owning one has to come from their personalities formed in their respective movies. Many considered that they're not the best role models.

"They don't do anything!" many complained. "They're just damsels waiting for their princes to arrive and in never getting anything done instead relying on their status and/or beauty to get what they want: a man"

And sometimes that's true. Aurora for example, I personally think she is just bland and generic. Everyone knows the movie but she is good at doing nothing at all and her true love Prince Phillip steals the spotlight. And wouldn'tja know it, she still does nothing just for her man to save her. She has nothing unique and doesn't stand out among the other princesses so the argument is pretty valid.

But forget it, I'm going to defend the other ladies. Not that they're always the best, but they have good virtues that can be learned. Snow White's kindness and helpful nature serves as a second mother for the dwarves. Blah blah blah, hard-working, blah blah blah, okay you get the point, watch the Nostalgia Critic's version on this.

In fact, a princess without a king is very popular in the media these days. Princess Sally, Princess Celestia and Luna, Princess Peach, Princess Leia, Princess Lana, Princess Oriana and even more.

All I can say is the world is changing more and more each day and much more variety of female characters is popping out of nowhere. Maybe it's time to move on and see the changes around us and look at what virtues we can enforce.  And looking very clear at that there's a definite option that any female cane be as powerful as she wants to be. And that second place being taken under someone else's wing can come and go.

And let's face it! With so many girls that are good, strong, interesting, funny, entertaining, intelligent, responsible and just as compelling as guys, maybe it's time to put away the princess title and look at unfolding reality that is before us. I'm Doggy and I'm outta here!

Next time on Toons These Days Editorial: Twilight.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Toons these Days: The Croods

Doggy: What in Hanna-Barbera did I just watch?

Conroy: Only the best movie we ever seen! The animation, those animals! And little Ms. Eep.

Doggy: I don't get any of this! Whatja-whoma-whyza, what is this?!

Conroy: Well, the Croods are like the Simpsons. Except they're cavemen and not yellow-skinned. But at least they don't have a God-praising neighbor or an mini-mart owning Hindu.  So what's your favorite character?

Doggy: The family didn't interest me so I have to pick that guy named......Guy. What? He's the one responsible for what mankind is today! Also, what was John Cleese doing here?

Conroy: You see, most aspects of the film are inspired by popular things like the family thing from The Flintstones and Dinosaurs and the family going in before dark is like Minecraft.

Doggy: Yeah yeah yeah. Enough with the jibber-jabber! All I know is that the 3D really gave me a headache. I guess the producers wanted more money to make 50 sequels! My rating, 6.5/10.

Conroy: My rating is 8/10! Readers, if you have the chance, go see this movie!

Doggy: See it in regular-D because 3D makes the mind boggle! When will we get Dragons 2 again?

The end.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Toonland Madness Greatest Hits: Cabin Fever

Toonland Madness Greatest Hits: “Cabin Fever”
Originally performed by the cast of Muppet Treasure Island (minus Tim Curry)
Performed by Jim Cummings, Rob Paulsen, Jeff Bennett and others.
Mayor Cat: I've got cabin fever.
Knuckles: I've got it too!
Bart: I got cabin fever it's burning in my brain
Waddle Doo: I've got cabin fever it's driving me insane
Yakko and Wakko: We got cabin fever, we're flipping our bandanas
Been stuck at sea so long we have simply gone bananas
Chica chica boom
A chica chica boom boom chic
Chica chica boom
A chica chica boom boom chic
ALF and Garfield: We got cabin fever we've lost what sense we had
We got cabin fever, we're all going mad
Raphael: My sanity is hanging by a thread
Since we're going nowhere I've gone out of my head
We were sailing sailing over the bounding main
And now we're not! Ha ha heh!
Smiley: Grab your partner by the ears
Lash him to the wheel
Do-si-do step on his toe
Listen to him squeal
Allemande left, allemande right
It's time to sail or sink
Swing your partner over the side
Drop him in the drink
Sonic: We got cabin fever
Tails: No if's, and's, or but's
Felix: We're disoriented
Woody: And demented
All: And a little nuts
Homer and Popeye: Ach du lieber Volkswagen car
(Rocky: Yodel-lay-ee-hoo)
Sauerkraut and wienerschnitzel
Und the wunder bar
(Bullwinkle: Yodel-lay-ee-hoo)
Applejack: We were sailing, sailing the wind was on our side
Dracula: And then it died
Bugs: I've got cabin fever
I think I've lost my grip
Daffy: I'd like to get my hands on
Whoever wrote this script
Escargoon and Rita: I was floating 'neath a tropic moon
And dreaming of a blue lagoon
Now I'm crazy as a loon
Everyone: Cabin fever has ravaged all aboard
This once proud vessel has become a floating psycho ward
We were sailing, sailing headed who knows where
And now though we're all here
We're not all there
Cabin fever!

Friday, March 8, 2013

Toons These Days: Oz the Great and Powerful

Hey everyone, I'm back from hiatus. As you know I haven't seen this flick but that doesn't mean no review. On with the show.

Doggy: Well whoopity-stinking-doo! Another Wizard of Oz movie made by DISNEY! And it has James Franco and Mila Kunis. Now the first Disney Oz movie was terrible in my eyes so I had Conroy bury it near Ernest Borgnine's tomb.

Anyway, there's this guy named Oscar who is a circus magician and a con man who is whisked away from dusty Kansas to the magical, happy land of Oz where lives cute little Munchkins! I was being sarcastic y'know. He meets this flying bellhop monkey named Whatever, I'll call him Dan. He meets three witches and one of them will be the Wicked Witch of the West! At least this version wasn't a Muppet movie or a Ted Turner/DiC cartoon.

That's all I have to say. Conroy, did you bury "Return to Oz"?

Conroy: I couldn't find his grave so I gave it to a shark who loved eating bad movies.

Doggy: D'oh!

The end.

Friday, March 1, 2013

I'm going on hiatus

Attention everyone! I'm going on hiatus and here's a few reasons why.

1. Schoolwork. There's just too much.
2. I keep scratching because I keep itching. I think I may be getting extremely sick.
3 and final reason. I won't be doing another post for the entire summer.

My next post will be released on March 8th, 2013 with "Toons These Days: Oz: The Great and Powerful". I know it's not a cartoon but it's made by Disney and their last movie was in CGI.

Keep up the follows and stay tuned for more posts in the future. See ya later!