Monday, September 29, 2014

Grandpa's birthday

My Grandpa turned 80 last week. (My dad's dad. My other grandpa died a long time before I was born.) We had a sort of surprise dinner for him to celebrate. Jack and I wrote a proclamation for his birthday:

O most Venerable and Majestic Grandfather Ogre, Patriarch of the House of Mayer,

We, your two eldest grandsons, are pleased to congratulate you upon attaining the august age of eighty years upon this earth. May you continue to live long and prosper in the years to come.

Copious amounts of affection, Jack and Andy. (The Ogre thing has grown on me. I didn't like that nickname for a long time, but I'm okay with it now.)

And Jack read it in his dramatic Jack voice.

My cousin Daniel was at the dinner which was great. Daniel is my favorite cousin. He's funny, and easygoing, and we like the same things. We both like animation and video games and pop culture. It's too bad he lives in Ohio, because it would be fun to hang out with him more.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

London Bridge

I hope London Bridge is NOT falling down. My dad went to London today. He is doing sound for the NFL Raiders/Dolphins game at Wembley Stadium. Wembley Stadium has 90,000 seats. Soldier Field, where my dad usually works, only has 61,500 seats.

(The seats at Wembley stadium are OVER 90 THOUSAND!!!  Ha ha. Joke from Dragonball Z that turned into an internet meme.)

I wonder if Dad will have time to buy me a souvenir in London? I think I would like a mini model of Big Ben. Jack says he wants "I don't know. Something." Jack is a very difficult child. That is why I like to torment him.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Goodnight Sweet Prince!

Humanity is on the brink of extinction. Their own idiocy and greed will be the end of us all. And I'm pretty much the only person left with common sense.

That's right, the person you are right now is devolving back into your descendant: a filthy brainless ape! Over the past year, I've discovered how you yes you are just thriving for attention! Just look at Pooh's Adventures, they're terribly made and yet everyone likes them. How about the Twilight series, they're poorly written and yet its only audience are insane teenage girls and people who just want something to laugh at. And let us not forget the Sonic fanbase, home to recolor artists, shipping wars, Archie Comics haters and so much more! And by the way Sonic Adventure 3 will never happen, ever!

Another thing that's bothering me is TV mandates. Nickelodeon's on its last leg thanks to SpongeBob and FOP renewals. What happened to the good old days where we had creator driven shows? Once we had an angry Chihuahua, a group of babies, kids in the Bronx and even a high-schooler who lives in a town of humanized My Little Pony rejects. Nowadays we have twerking ducks who deliver bread, a boy and his snake who go around making fart jokes, a duo of Teen Titans knockoffs, a continuation of a popular show during the 2000s that's been moved to the website and pretty much the only good show left that hasn't been moved online is about four teenaged turtles who fight crime and eat pizza.

Now let's see the popular shows of two other networks, Disney Channel and Cartoon Network. DC has Phineas and Ferb, Gravity Falls and Wander over Yonder while CN has Adventure Time, Regular Show and Steven Universe. Gumball I left out because I couldn't watch it anymore due to timeslots. Well, there's always Netflix.

If we could change our ways for the better, then the world could be a better place. If it does go under, we could always move to Uranus.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Have Jokes

I had a good time at Have Dreams this week, especially in snack time. My mates and I were joking about a part of one of the Richard Scarry's Busytown games where the character Dr. Diane would always use bandages. Here are some of the highlights!

"Doctor, I split my pancreas!" "I'll put a bandage on it."

"Doctor, I have a brain tumor!" "I'll put a bandage on it."

"Doctor, some guy ripped my tongue out!" "Open wide. I'll put a bandage on it."

"I've been shot in the privates!" "I'll put a bandage on it."

"Doctor, I lost my leg when it was run over by some kid driving a pickup truck!" "I'll put a bandage on it."

Well as they say, that's all folks!

Monday, September 22, 2014

Reasons Ms. Diggins and family should move to Chicago

Ms. Diggins was my teacher last year, but she moved home to Buffalo to be near her mom and brothers and sisters. I think she should just move her whole family here and come back to teach me. Then her mom wouldn't miss her AND I wouldn't miss her!

Reasons to move to Chicago from Buffalo:

1.) Chicago Hot Dogs. Have you heard of Buffalo hot dogs? I don't think so.
2.) Lake Michigan is better than Lake Erie. Or maybe less polluted, anyhow.
3.) Patrick Kane is already IN Chicago!
4.) You can get Buffalo wings here, too.
5.) My grandpa is from Buffalo, and he moved to Chicago, so Chicago is the right choice.
6.) Does Buffalo even have a baseball team? I don't think so. We have two.
7.) I MISS HER!!!

Evidence clearly supports the entire Diggins family moving to Chicago.  As Jean-Luc Picard would say "make it so!"

Thursday, September 18, 2014


I just can't think of anything to write now, I suppose I can dish out an idea just to help. Here's one!

Season 1: The Oswald Saga

Mickey Mouse as Goku
Elmer Mouse as Gohan
Minnie Mouse as Chi-Chi
Donald Duck as Krillin
Mortimer Mouse as Piccolo
Goofy as Tien Shinhan
Max as Chiaotzu
Peter Pan as Yamcha
Scrooge McDuck as Master Roshi
Ortensia as Bulma
Oswald as Vegeta
Pete as Nappa
Big Bad Wolf as Raditz
Jafar as Frieza (speaking cameo)
Thor as King Kai
Abu as Bubbles
Jiminy Cricket as Gregory
Captain Barbossa as Bojack (unseen)
Piglet as Oolong
Zeus as King Yemma
Walt Disney as Kami
(more on this some other time)


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The song that's Hard to Make up

Our family enjoys making songs about each other, and tonight we're making one about Uncle John, yet very few things rhyme with John. Like long, gong, bong, song, dong, hong, tong, okay maybe there are things that rhyme with John.

Y'know, this tradition has been going on for quite a while that I have a feeling it'll stay for generations. But I'm just "Saiyan." (canned laughter) WOCKA WOCKA!

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Still sick

I'm still sick, end of story.

Naw, just kidding! Anyway, I'm still sick because this cold has been around for a while but I am starting to feel better. And Dad is coming home Wednesday, woohoo!

Another topic I want to talk about is how I think the J-Pop industry will take over the world, and no I'm not crazy! Think of the game Azure Striker Gunvolt, where our hero who works for a resistance against some random evil corporation, discovers that the controller of a holographic pop star is actually a 13 year old girl. Think very hard on this one. Young girls are using their singing talent for their crazy fans and evil owners.

Now look back to Hatsune Miku of the Vocaloids, if anyone reading this would understand what I'm talking about. Now Vocaloids are computer-generated puppets that you can make sing and dance and Miku is one of them. Speaking of Miku, she, a holographic version of herself, once performed in front of a whole audience in Tokyo and it sold more tickets than the premiere of Guardians of the Galaxy!

Meanwhile in reality, one of the members of the J-Pop multi-group AKB48 was apparently caught by the press dating a random guy when the rules say any member of the group weren't allowed to! Now, they announced of new member that's the Japanese equivalent of Frankenstein's Monster! They're creating idols to control our brains, wallets and eventually the world! Play the game, look up the Miku concert on the Internet (I recommend the Kids React of that by the Fine Bros), look up the whole AKB48 thing and you'll understand what I just said. (sirens erupt) Oh great, it's the fuzz! Quick, assemble some heroes, stop this revolution and don't say I didn't warn you!

Monday, September 15, 2014


I'm sick. I have a cold. My head hurts, my throat hurts, my nose is snoogy and life is dismal.  My mom is also sick. She was supposed to get up and go to a boot camp workout this morning, but instead we both stayed in bed.  Dismal, I tell you.

My dad is in Amsterdam and he is not sick, we hope. He comes home on Wednesday.

I hope this cold goes away by Friday. There's nothing worse than being sick on the weekend. You get two whole days off school, and you spend them feeling gross.

My brother Jack's birthday was yesterday. He turned 16. We were supposed to go out to dinner with Grandma and Uncle Sean, but I was sick, so we didn't go anywhere.  Right now we are talking about Homecoming and whether Jack will go to it. I said he should find a hot girl and ask her. Mom said I shouldn't talk like a sexist pig. I said I just want Jack to man up! I told Mom I'm maybe 30% pig. Jack says I am 100% pig. Mom says no boys of hers will be pigs of any kind.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Back to school

My mom went to my brother's back to school night tonight. But first she had something to do in the afternoon -- so my grandma picked up me and Jack. Then grandma got us turkey sandwiches for dinner. Mom went to Loyola to listen to the teachers blab about Jack's day.

I think they told her that Jack is sarcastic as usual, but very smart. And that they hope he will use his powers for good and not for evil. He should not become Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All.  I'm sure there was a lot more blah blah blah in there, but that's a good summary.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014


Weather brought to you via CrazyTown. First, it rained, then it was humid and hot and gross. Now it is kind of cold and tomorrow is supposed to feel like fall. All in a day! If you thought last year's winter tundra was insane, you should look at this.

We've had some crazy weather recently mostly with the above mentioned tundra or the big rainstorm we had a few weeks ago. Well, I gotta go since it's 42 minutes past ten! Laters.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Every Simpsons EVER!!!

During the last week of August and the first day of September, there was a Simpsons marathon on FXX that promoted said show's FXX premiere, 26th season premiere and the Family Guy crossovers coming up. It was said to be the longest marathon ever, lasting 12 days airing all 552 episodes plus the movie chronologically. Even the bad ones such as season 9's Principal and the Pauper. When you air an episode that even the creator Matt Groening can't defend, you've got guts. And I wonder how the "real" Seymour is doing on that train?

I've watched the marathon and in the words of Comic Book Guy, best 12 days of my life ever! I'd have to say, that was a great moment in my life next to unlocking Dr. Mario in Super Smash Bros Melee and playing through so far all seasons of Sam and Max. Out of all seasons, I'd say 10 is my favorite mostly because I think it was the first one I got on DVD. Man what a ride I had on the last few days of summer. And a big thank you for the Simpson clan themselves for making people laugh since 1989. Or 1987 if you count the shorts from the Tracy Ullman Show as canon.

Monday, September 8, 2014


Yesterday, my mom and brother and I went to the Misericordia Family Fest. My mom worked there in the morning, and then she drove home and got us, and then Jack had to work in the afternoon. His job was to hold signs and things for the Misericordia Heartbreakers. They are the dancers at Misericordia, and my Uncle Sean is one of them. My mom had to do a lot of driving yesterday because my dad was working at the Bears game, Grandma was already at Misericordia, and Jack can't drive yet. (I find the idea of Jack driving a car very frightening.)

So, we dropped Jack off to do his job, and then met up with my Grandma to sit down and watch the show. It was very crowded and very loud. It was horrible. Before the Heartbreakers danced, a couple of politicians had to make some speeches. Bruce Rauner was there, and Governor Quinn, and Dick Durbin, and someone running for Comptroller, blah blah blah. Dick Durbin had the best speech. He said "God bless Sister Rosemary and God bless Misericordia." I was glad his speech was so short because I was ready to get out of there.

After he blah blahed, Governor Quinn walked around and shook hands. He came by me and mom and mom asked if I wanted a picture with the Governor. I said "sure, why not?" So we took a picture and shook hands. He asked how old I was and where I went to school and I told him. He seemed like a nice guy, but you never know with these politicians, I guess.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

I read it on the internet

So the other night, I posted that my brother Jack is neurotic. Then  a friend of my mom's who reads this blog told her "Jack is neurotic. I read it on the internet." And Jack said "WHAT?" (He then attempted to beat me up)

Ha ha. I love the power of the written word.

One more day of this first week of school! It's been good.  I haven't lost my cool yet. Go ME! I have relaxation homework to do. That seems like an oxymoron, but whatever.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Back to the Ball and Chain

Today was the first day of school this year and I'm now a 7th grader at Edison Park. A lot of things happened, such as my old comrade Ryan G moving back to Chicago. Some other things that happened were that Ms. Diggins moved back to her family in Buffalo and I know share the same recess with fellow Pokemon trainer Steven.

Today I had a good day but Jack was a little suspicious. He thought I would have a bad day and that I was an alien. Typical Jack he is, so neurotic.

Well, I better go now. Bye bye!