Thursday, January 30, 2014

Polar Madness!

I think this horrible weather caused by the polar vortex has led to polar madness!

It is so cold all the time, and gray and gloomy.
The car is dirty, covered in salt and snow.
Indoor recess!
One time, there was soot from the stove flying everywhere!

(Mom says -- where did the soot come from? I don't think you have a stove at school.)

The soot is for atmosphere!

The weather seems like something out of the Metal Gear games or the China level in the first Sly Cooper game. In other words, MENACING.

We're supposed to get more snow over the weekend. HORROR. (Though I do like snow.)
My windowsill is padded with blankets just to keep me warm.
And I can't sleep in the basement because it is too cold down there!
The roads are slippy and sloppy.

The only good thing about this polar madness is that there's no history-eraser button involved. (hat tip, Ren & Stimpy!)

(Please read the preceding post in a CREEPY British accent!)

Wednesday, January 29, 2014


My post from yesterday got 124 page views! Woo Hoo!

Today was a bad day:

it was cold
I had to go to school
all my bones hurt
I was woozy
I was cranky
politeness was lacking
Mr. Johnson yelled at me for no reason
mom wouldn't let me stay home
my lips are dry
my backpack was too heavy
I was under pressure
we're trapped in a polar prison

Mom says it is just the midwinter blues and I'll feel better with some sunshine. She says we will go see The Nut Job this weekend and see if that puts me in a better mood.

Mom says my list is like a poem. And Jack just started reciting some poem called "Charge of the Light Brigade" which sounds pretty gruesome. But everything is gruesome right now.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014


State of the Union:

I'm joining the State of the Union in progress because me and Mom had to pick up Jack at Driver's Ed and stop at the grocery store and we just got home.

Obama and Biden are wearing blue ties and Boehner is wearing light green. I feel like that is a big departure for him. He should be wearing red.

I always wonder if this address would take less time if people would hold all applause until the end.

Obama is talking about energy. He likes solar energy. He doesn't want t give money to fossil fuel industries that don't need money. Sounds right -- if they don't NEED the money, why do they get it? We are studying renewable and non renewable energy in science class.

Uh oh. He's talking about climate change. There are a lot of people who don't believe in climate change, but Obama says it is a FACT.


standing ovation for fixing the broken immigration system!

Boehner is not wearing a flag pin. He also looks like he's going to fall asleep. And he's not applauding.  Our tv makes him look very orangey-red.

Jack is calling Boehner bad names. "He brings me to great anger!" Jack says.

Mom asked if I would like to go to the SOTU address. I don't think so. It would be too loud with all that clapping all the time.

Tomorrow's workforce -- that's me and Jack. Jack says "the world is doomed."

Boehner looks crabby. I guess reddish-orange isn't his color.

Obama is talking about how great math is. I bet that's because he doesn't have to do math homework.

"High quality early education" -- even Boehner clapped for that. Jack says "even Boehner approves of pre-school."

Hey -- did you know that Apple once teamed up with Bandai to make a video game console called Pippin? It failed.

Michelle Obama is sitting in the balcony. It took the camera a minute to find her.

I give a thumbs down to women making less money than men!

Ha ha -- he referenced Mad Men! Obama thinks that when women succeed, America succeeds. And the crowd goes wild!

There are Minneapolis pizza makers in the audience. The dough guy now makes $10 per hour. I think I could make pizza dough for $10 per hour.

Give America a raise! I would like a raise! I have 2 3DSXL games I want to buy right now and I'm out of money. Mom says I have to do actual work to get a raise. Hey, I put away the silverware! And pick up the family room! And do Math homework! Mom says when I am old enough I can apply for a job at my favorite comic book store. (Aw Yeah Comics!)

Uh oh. He's going to talk about healthcare! People are going to be mad! This woman had a sharp pain and then had emergency surgery. I wonder what was wrong with her?

Boehner looks like we wants to read his email or check facebook on his phone.

Ha ha. Obama doesn't expect to convince his "Republican friends" on the merits of this law. But he says that if they have better ideas they should bring them up.

The governor of Kentucky is a Democrat??? Weird.

Ha ha. Mom and Jack are making jokes about signing each other up for Obamacare.

Aw! One American Family!

Joint Chiefs of Staff! Everyone clapped for the armed forces.

No more troops in Iraq. Some troops in Afghanistan. Wow -- is this really America's longest war? That's surprising. Mom asked Jack about "unified Afghanistan." Jack said "there's not much to say about Unified Afghanistan. It doesn't exist." Jack thinks Obama is too idealistic about the idea of a unified Afghanistan.

Obama says constant vigilance! He's like Mad-Eye Moody from Harry Potter!

Biden and Boehner have their heads tilted the same way!

John McCain looks somewhat amused.

Standing applause for Israel!

We do NOT want Iran to have nuclear weapons. Jack says "radiation is bad for the soul."

random claps.

He VETO a bad sanctions bill!

How can we even stop Iran from building nuclear bombs? If they really want to build them, won't they just build them? Just because they tell us they are not building bombs doesn't mean they can't lie about it.

Obama thinks Team USA will win gold in the Olympics!

Obama thinks the US is awesome and everyone looks to us. Is this true? Do people in other countries look to us, or do they think we're stupid?

Obama is talking about a soldier who got injured in Afghanistan on his 10th deployment! He got shrapnel in his brain and had to have lots of surgery and learn to do things again, like speak and stand and walk. I hope the army gives him a really good job when he gets better. He got a standing applause. People are crying.

Is this done yet? I'm tired. Though Jack says I'd be more tired if I was giving the speech. Good thing I don't want to be president!

Obama says we all have to work together. "With our feet planted firmly in today, but our eyes cast toward tomorrow." (or something like that)

Now he is shaking hands with people and the reporter is talking. Bob Schiffer says is was a "can-do" speech.

I'm done here. I still have a couple of math problems to do. Those fractions won't compare themselves. If fractions can compare themselves.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

more hockey

The Blackhawks are playing the Detroit Red Wings. This is a big hockey rivalry -- the show is even called "Wednesday Night Rivalry." Right now, the score is Blackhawks 3, Red Wings 4. Boo! Ha ha. During intermission there is going to be a report on "Goalies Gone Wild."

Jack is out driving. It is dark and snowy, so Mom is a little nervous. I still think Jack needs to get some girls with this whole driving thing, but Jack just rolls his eyes at me.

I am so happy that I have school tomorrow and then a day off on Friday. Yippee!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Here Comes da judge!

A friend of my mom's appeared before the Supreme Court of the US today. I think this is very cool. It seems very important. The Supreme Court is the highest court in the US. They are located in Washington, DC. There are 9 judges called "Justices" on the Supreme Court.

I don't totally understand about the case, but my mom's friend's brother has a disability, and his mom takes care of him at home. She gets money from the government to take care of him. The governor of Illinois wants her to join the union to take care of him.

Anyhow, my mom is very irritated by this and has been blabbing about it all afternoon. But then she joked that maybe moms should unionize and get better working conditions. My mom says she's sick of cooking dinner every night!

Thursday, January 16, 2014


Jack got his driving permit today! He is finally a man! Let's hope that Jack now goes out to see the world and have adventures. Maybe romance a girl or two?

My mom says that when Jack gets his license she will sent him to the store when she forgets things.  Dad says when Jack gets his license he will pretend to be Homer Simpson and send Jack out for Duff Beer!

Personally, I want Jack to drive me to school and to Game Stop to buy video games. Maybe to McDonald's for Happy Meals and ice cream.

Jack driving a car! Bejabbers!

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Out to dinner

Tonight we went out to dinner. We went to a mexican restaurant to celebrate how me and Jack are awesome. Jack did some things being smart, and I shook the mayor's hand.

I had tacos. Mom had enchiladas mole. Dad had steak tacos. Jack had a combination plate.

I like the restaurant, but there was a baby at the next table who was screeching! Babies are fine, but I think they should stay home if they are going to screech in that really high pitched way. Screeching totally hurts my ears and makes me feel agitated, anxious and annoyed. I pulled my shirt over my ears and my hat down over my head. Luckily, the baby only screeched twice, so it wasn't too much of a problem. Mom says I was not a screechy baby, probably because I didn't want to annoy myself. Jack WAS a screechy baby, which I think just figures, because Jack annoys me a lot. Jack says he wouldn't annoy me so much if I wasn't so easy.

I've been tired and crabby all day. I think it is time for BED.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Shake it!

Today Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel came to our school to do a ribbon cutting of the new annex. Many people were excited to see a political celebrity there, even I was surprised to hear. During science class, he and a big news team came to Mrs. Carmen's new science room and we got the chance to shake his hand, even yours truly! I was too excited to even speak, except when he asked if we liked the new science room better than the old one, we all said "yes!"

Before Emanuel, the Chicago mayor was Richard Daley, who was reelected five time before resigning four years back. He was first elected in 1989, the year Disney's "The Little Mermaid" and Don Bluth's "All Dogs Go to Heaven" were in theaters. I'd say three big things happened that year, the new mayor was elected and two animated films, one successful and another outbox-officed, were released.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

No Idea

I am literally running out of ideas for blog posts, I may be considering retiring. But since I have to do this as an assignment, it will be the same thing over and over and over and over again. So please give me some ideas! PLEASE! My imagination depends on it.

I'd rather just bury myself in a humongous cake until I have ideas, but that will be dangerous to my air. Why can't I just write for fun instead of work? Why can't my mom give me freedom of life for once?! I just can't take it anymore. Seems like "Clockwork Orange torture scene" may be another word for "homework".

If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna put a bag over my head.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The Not-really-Secret Annex

Back to school! We had two extra days of Christmas break because of the Polar Vortex. It was so cold that we all had to stay inside and do nothing. It was GREAT.

Today the temperature was above zero, so back to school. Our school has a new annex where all the middle school kids will be. So, I have all new classrooms, a new locker, and a new lunchroom. The annex is very big and the ceilings are very tall. The rooms are cool. They are painted in a wide array of colors and have modern windows.

The lunchroom is big enough that there can be two sections -- peanut free and peanut friendly. I sat in the peanut free section, because my mom didn't include any peanut products in my lunch. She asked me if I wanted peanut butter crackers tomorrow and I said yes, so I will sit in the peanut friendly section.

Here is a picture of me in Ms. Diggins' room!