Monday, April 29, 2013

Bum Reviews: Sly Cooper Thieves in Time

Chester: OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST GAME I EVER PLAYED IN MY LIFE!!! (scatting Pink Panther theme) Spoilers!

So there's this grey squirrel named Sly Cooper who's a thief and he's like "I'm retiring to get laid!" I was a thief once! I got caught by the fuzz. They were bears.
 You wanna know why, because he wants to be with his girlfriend Carmelita Fox! It's fun to be together without an electric handgun!

In his stealing days, there were this tortoise in a wheelchair named Bentley and a pink elephant named Murray! Oh no, one of the Pink Elephants live! What an unusual beau.

It turns out that he's faking amnesia to be with Carmelita and he's still thieving! That varmint! His next target is an art collector and then Bentley showed up! When they were kids, they made up a plan to steal donuts, or was it cookies? I stole cookies once, Homer Simpson was angry.

Anyway, the Cooper Gang reunite because the stuff from this book called the Thevius Racoonus are disappearing! Wait a minute, Sly is a squirrel so that means that someone in his family made out with a raccoon.

That's all I could get because the game was so short! What happened to Sly? When they were in this time machine, they simply disappear! Were they wiped from existance, never to be seen again? Oh well, better luck in the sequel.

This is Chester A Bum saying CHANGE!!! GOT ANY CHANGE?! OH COME ON HELP A GUY OUT HERE!!

I want to make out with a squirrel and a raccoon and be a thief who is wiped from the timeline!

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