Friday, February 1, 2013

Toons These Days: The Animated Films of 2012

Doggy: Oh geez. 2012 sure has been a crazy year for us. Not only the Apocalypse didn't happen, but we also had some animated movies the past year. And I'm here to recount these crazy events. So sit back, get some popcorn you saved and join me as we look at the animated films of 2012. By the way, The Rabbi's Cat doesn't count,

The first one is a doozy, since no one knew about it on its release in January. And it's called A Monster in Paris. When I saw it, I didn't know what the heck was going on! They have this rubber beast, a corny private investigator and a blimp. That's all I can say.

The next month, anime master Hayao Miyazaki and Walt Disney Pictures brought one of my favorite books to the big screen under the name of The Secret World of Arietty. Technically I'm cheating here since it was released in Japan in the summer of 2010. But here in America, we got it in February so it counts. I really liked the animation in this one. It's called anime for a reason guys! I also appreciated the work of Bridger Mendler and David Henrie here. It's not too small to be loved.

In March, another Dr. Suess character came to the big screen and this time it's The Lorax. Sorry I complained about the songs in my rant on Sofia the First. I can explain! Let's just get on to the next flick.

To reconcile with guys who hated the character design in Arthur Christmas, (I'm talking to you Brunet) Aardman returned to their claymation roots with the help of Sony in The Pirates! Band of Misfits. Or The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists. Keep in mind that this is the first of three stop-motion films released.

I would've accepted Madagascar 3 to be better than Escape 2 Africa, but it didn't turn out well. The 3D is kinda lazy, the jokes are pretty stale and the bad guy is just another ripoff of a Disney villain, which in this case is Cruella De Vil.

The same month, Pixar stepped in with their first fairytale, Brave. Or The Bear and the Bow to make more sense. The story here is pretty weak but the animation is really cool! I mean, Meridan....Mario....Maid Marian.....Merida's big red locks looks so real! They mastered fur before and now they outdone themselves. We still love you Sulley.

With Blue Sky Studios on thin ice with Ice Age 4, the franchise is really starting to fall. Maybe the next movie will have them all extinct. And to the people outside North America, stop watching this movie! The box office doesn't lie!

For the second stop-motion film of 2012, the makers of Coraline, Laika Animation, has released the first of three Halloween related movies. And the next one is coming up. The name is ParaNorman. A film so innovative that it might get a sequel. Don't get me wrong, some of the animation is on computers.

Now we enter Ice Age 4's lovechild, Hotel Transylvania. Now this movie is directed by Genndy Tartokovsky. The same dude who brought us Dexter's Lab, Samurai Jack and Sym-Biotic Titan. (knocking) I'm not here! Go home!

The last of the Halloween Cartoon Trilogy was directed by Tim Burton. Which is actually a remake of his 1984 live-action short, Frankenweenie. It's not that great unless you count the freaky pets in this. All I can say is that one Disney animator is drawing sketches down at the studio.

Another Disney film released is now the kudigrah of Disney movies: Wreck-It Ralph. It's a movie, that's all I can say.

Rise of the Guardians is obviously the last one that came out. (Dino Time poster pops out) You don't count either! (poster fades) It's like the Avengers of childhood memoirs. All this talking about movies is making me tired.

And that's all I got for the animated features of 2012. Now let's see what 2013 has to offer.

Escape from Planet Earth: Maybe.
The Croods: Lame.
Epic: We'll see.
Monsters University: Okay.
Despicable Me 2: All right.
Turbo: Oy.
Planes: Wait, did they say theaters?
Cloudy 2: Not gonna be good without Mr. T.
Mr. Peabody and Sherman: Might have potential.
Frozen: Hope so!

See you in the cinema fellas! 

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