(Doggy appears onscreen sitting behind an office desk with a snack bowl, typewriter and an ashtray. Rather than wearing his normal hat, Doggy wears a visor, glasses and a necktie)
Doggy: Hello there guys. Today I have an important topic: "Why hate Princesses"
Considering that every little girl wants to be a princess with their elegant beauty, kind heart and enchanted surroundings, grownups were getting kinda suspicious. Seems kinda strange because princesses are girls too y'know! Heck, my good friend the Nostalgia Critic ranted about them in the media.
NC: You're not a princess, you just took the title because it sounds cute!
You see, there was a tiny controversey considered the princess anti-feminist because she always gets captured by some evil person and a prince has to save her.
Is it just innocent make-believe or something to get angry about?
Now to answer this question, let's look at the most famous princesses straight from Disney!
These guys just reinvented the fairy tale and seeing how their princess line is the most legendary entertainment line, they have a clear understanding why princesses are so popular. What do they have in common? Well, they're all pretty, kind, various clothes and accessories you can buy for them, but the intrigue of owning one has to come from their personalities formed in their respective movies. Many considered that they're not the best role models.
"They don't do anything!" many complained. "They're just damsels waiting for their princes to arrive and in never getting anything done instead relying on their status and/or beauty to get what they want: a man"
And sometimes that's true. Aurora for example, I personally think she is just bland and generic. Everyone knows the movie but she is good at doing nothing at all and her true love Prince Phillip steals the spotlight. And wouldn'tja know it, she still does nothing just for her man to save her. She has nothing unique and doesn't stand out among the other princesses so the argument is pretty valid.
But forget it, I'm going to defend the other ladies. Not that they're always the best, but they have good virtues that can be learned. Snow White's kindness and helpful nature serves as a second mother for the dwarves. Blah blah blah, hard-working, blah blah blah, okay you get the point, watch the Nostalgia Critic's version on this.
In fact, a princess without a king is very popular in the media these days. Princess Sally, Princess Celestia and Luna, Princess Peach, Princess Leia, Princess Lana, Princess Oriana and even more.
All I can say is the world is changing more and more each day and much more variety of female characters is popping out of nowhere. Maybe it's time to move on and see the changes around us and look at what virtues we can enforce. And looking very clear at that there's a definite option that any female cane be as powerful as she wants to be. And that second place being taken under someone else's wing can come and go.
And let's face it! With so many girls that are good, strong, interesting, funny, entertaining, intelligent, responsible and just as compelling as guys, maybe it's time to put away the princess title and look at unfolding reality that is before us. I'm Doggy and I'm outta here!
Next time on Toons These Days Editorial: Twilight.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Toons these Days: The Croods
Doggy: What in Hanna-Barbera did I just watch?
Conroy: Only the best movie we ever seen! The animation, those animals! And little Ms. Eep.
Doggy: I don't get any of this! Whatja-whoma-whyza, what is this?!
Conroy: Well, the Croods are like the Simpsons. Except they're cavemen and not yellow-skinned. But at least they don't have a God-praising neighbor or an mini-mart owning Hindu. So what's your favorite character?
Doggy: The family didn't interest me so I have to pick that guy named......Guy. What? He's the one responsible for what mankind is today! Also, what was John Cleese doing here?
Conroy: You see, most aspects of the film are inspired by popular things like the family thing from The Flintstones and Dinosaurs and the family going in before dark is like Minecraft.
Doggy: Yeah yeah yeah. Enough with the jibber-jabber! All I know is that the 3D really gave me a headache. I guess the producers wanted more money to make 50 sequels! My rating, 6.5/10.
Conroy: My rating is 8/10! Readers, if you have the chance, go see this movie!
Doggy: See it in regular-D because 3D makes the mind boggle! When will we get Dragons 2 again?
The end.
Conroy: Only the best movie we ever seen! The animation, those animals! And little Ms. Eep.
Doggy: I don't get any of this! Whatja-whoma-whyza, what is this?!
Conroy: Well, the Croods are like the Simpsons. Except they're cavemen and not yellow-skinned. But at least they don't have a God-praising neighbor or an mini-mart owning Hindu. So what's your favorite character?
Doggy: The family didn't interest me so I have to pick that guy named......Guy. What? He's the one responsible for what mankind is today! Also, what was John Cleese doing here?
Conroy: You see, most aspects of the film are inspired by popular things like the family thing from The Flintstones and Dinosaurs and the family going in before dark is like Minecraft.
Doggy: Yeah yeah yeah. Enough with the jibber-jabber! All I know is that the 3D really gave me a headache. I guess the producers wanted more money to make 50 sequels! My rating, 6.5/10.
Conroy: My rating is 8/10! Readers, if you have the chance, go see this movie!
Doggy: See it in regular-D because 3D makes the mind boggle! When will we get Dragons 2 again?
The end.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Toonland Madness Greatest Hits: Cabin Fever
Toonland Madness Greatest Hits: “Cabin
Fever”
Originally performed by the cast of
Muppet Treasure Island (minus Tim Curry)
Performed by Jim Cummings, Rob Paulsen,
Jeff Bennett and others.
Mayor Cat: I've got
cabin fever.
Knuckles: I've got it too!
Knuckles: I've got it too!
CABIN
FEVER!
Bart: I got cabin
fever it's burning in my brain
Waddle Doo: I've got cabin fever it's driving me insane
Yakko and Wakko: We got cabin fever, we're flipping our bandanas
Been stuck at sea so long we have simply gone bananas
Waddle Doo: I've got cabin fever it's driving me insane
Yakko and Wakko: We got cabin fever, we're flipping our bandanas
Been stuck at sea so long we have simply gone bananas
Ariba!
Chica chica boom
A chica chica boom boom chic
Chica chica boom
A chica chica boom boom chic
Chica chica boom
A chica chica boom boom chic
Chica chica boom
A chica chica boom boom chic
ALF and Garfield: We
got cabin fever we've lost what sense we had
We got cabin fever, we're all going mad
We got cabin fever, we're all going mad
Raphael: My sanity
is hanging by a thread
Since we're going nowhere I've gone out of my head
We were sailing sailing over the bounding main
And now we're not! Ha ha heh!
Since we're going nowhere I've gone out of my head
We were sailing sailing over the bounding main
And now we're not! Ha ha heh!
Smiley: Grab your
partner by the ears
Lash him to the wheel
Do-si-do step on his toe
Listen to him squeal
Allemande left, allemande right
It's time to sail or sink
Swing your partner over the side
Drop him in the drink
Lash him to the wheel
Do-si-do step on his toe
Listen to him squeal
Allemande left, allemande right
It's time to sail or sink
Swing your partner over the side
Drop him in the drink
Sonic: We got cabin
fever
Tails: No if's, and's, or but's
Felix: We're disoriented
Woody: And demented
All: And a little nuts
Tails: No if's, and's, or but's
Felix: We're disoriented
Woody: And demented
All: And a little nuts
Homer and Popeye:
Ach du lieber Volkswagen car
(Rocky: Yodel-lay-ee-hoo)
Sauerkraut and wienerschnitzel
Und the wunder bar
(Bullwinkle: Yodel-lay-ee-hoo)
(Rocky: Yodel-lay-ee-hoo)
Sauerkraut and wienerschnitzel
Und the wunder bar
(Bullwinkle: Yodel-lay-ee-hoo)
Applejack: We were
sailing, sailing the wind was on our side
Dracula: And then it died
Dracula: And then it died
Bugs: I've got cabin
fever
I think I've lost my grip
Daffy: I'd like to get my hands on
Whoever wrote this script
Si!
I think I've lost my grip
Daffy: I'd like to get my hands on
Whoever wrote this script
Si!
Escargoon and Rita:
I was floating 'neath a tropic moon
And dreaming of a blue lagoon
Now I'm crazy as a loon
And dreaming of a blue lagoon
Now I'm crazy as a loon
Everyone: Cabin
fever has ravaged all aboard
This once proud vessel has become a floating psycho ward
We were sailing, sailing headed who knows where
And now though we're all here
We're not all there
This once proud vessel has become a floating psycho ward
We were sailing, sailing headed who knows where
And now though we're all here
We're not all there
Cabin fever!
AAHHH!!
AAHHH!!
Friday, March 8, 2013
Toons These Days: Oz the Great and Powerful
Hey everyone, I'm back from hiatus. As you know I haven't seen this flick but that doesn't mean no review. On with the show.
Doggy: Well whoopity-stinking-doo! Another Wizard of Oz movie made by DISNEY! And it has James Franco and Mila Kunis. Now the first Disney Oz movie was terrible in my eyes so I had Conroy bury it near Ernest Borgnine's tomb.
Anyway, there's this guy named Oscar who is a circus magician and a con man who is whisked away from dusty Kansas to the magical, happy land of Oz where lives cute little Munchkins! I was being sarcastic y'know. He meets this flying bellhop monkey named F....in....ey. Whatever, I'll call him Dan. He meets three witches and one of them will be the Wicked Witch of the West! At least this version wasn't a Muppet movie or a Ted Turner/DiC cartoon.
That's all I have to say. Conroy, did you bury "Return to Oz"?
Conroy: I couldn't find his grave so I gave it to a shark who loved eating bad movies.
Doggy: D'oh!
The end.
Doggy: Well whoopity-stinking-doo! Another Wizard of Oz movie made by DISNEY! And it has James Franco and Mila Kunis. Now the first Disney Oz movie was terrible in my eyes so I had Conroy bury it near Ernest Borgnine's tomb.
Anyway, there's this guy named Oscar who is a circus magician and a con man who is whisked away from dusty Kansas to the magical, happy land of Oz where lives cute little Munchkins! I was being sarcastic y'know. He meets this flying bellhop monkey named F....in....ey. Whatever, I'll call him Dan. He meets three witches and one of them will be the Wicked Witch of the West! At least this version wasn't a Muppet movie or a Ted Turner/DiC cartoon.
That's all I have to say. Conroy, did you bury "Return to Oz"?
Conroy: I couldn't find his grave so I gave it to a shark who loved eating bad movies.
Doggy: D'oh!
The end.
Friday, March 1, 2013
I'm going on hiatus
Attention everyone! I'm going on hiatus and here's a few reasons why.
1. Schoolwork. There's just too much.
2. I keep scratching because I keep itching. I think I may be getting extremely sick.
3 and final reason. I won't be doing another post for the entire summer.
My next post will be released on March 8th, 2013 with "Toons These Days: Oz: The Great and Powerful". I know it's not a cartoon but it's made by Disney and their last movie was in CGI.
Keep up the follows and stay tuned for more posts in the future. See ya later!
1. Schoolwork. There's just too much.
2. I keep scratching because I keep itching. I think I may be getting extremely sick.
3 and final reason. I won't be doing another post for the entire summer.
My next post will be released on March 8th, 2013 with "Toons These Days: Oz: The Great and Powerful". I know it's not a cartoon but it's made by Disney and their last movie was in CGI.
Keep up the follows and stay tuned for more posts in the future. See ya later!
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Toons These Days: The Annoying Orange TV Show
Doggy: There's a time in every man's life where they say...why? Why did this happen? Alot of Internet personnel have been incorporated to TV like Pucca and Fred. There is one guy and it's the Annoying Orange. A show about a STINKING fruit! We all know the phrase, "if it's fixed, don't break it" but nowadays its "if it's fixed, CN has the rights".
Cartoon Network has been dishing out a lot of trash like the Looney Tunes Show, Level Up, and most recently Incredible Crew. But this show redeemed themselves. So what's the story?
Well for the webshow, it's about a talking orange who lives in a kitchen that annoys every fruit, veggie or random object he sees. His friends include a pear, a tiny apple, a marshmallow, a grapefruit, a passion fruit, a geezer lemon and also most recently, a squash. Conroy showed it to me and I didn't get it. How can they talk? Why is the orange annoying? How did this get so famous!? The show was created by one Daneboe who liked making talking thing videos.
The story of the cartoon involve these guys living in a grocery store with this guy named Nerville played by Toby Turner. They go on all sorts of crazy adventures like traveling to the center of the earth, flying on a plane, fighting knights, exploring an alien planet made of candy and lots more!
The jokes in the webshow sometimes revolves around them having no limbs. In the cartoon however they can move by hopping.
I think that's all I got for this time. Join me next time as I teach ballet to a class of mice. Try and guess that.
Cartoon Network has been dishing out a lot of trash like the Looney Tunes Show, Level Up, and most recently Incredible Crew. But this show redeemed themselves. So what's the story?
Well for the webshow, it's about a talking orange who lives in a kitchen that annoys every fruit, veggie or random object he sees. His friends include a pear, a tiny apple, a marshmallow, a grapefruit, a passion fruit, a geezer lemon and also most recently, a squash. Conroy showed it to me and I didn't get it. How can they talk? Why is the orange annoying? How did this get so famous!? The show was created by one Daneboe who liked making talking thing videos.
The story of the cartoon involve these guys living in a grocery store with this guy named Nerville played by Toby Turner. They go on all sorts of crazy adventures like traveling to the center of the earth, flying on a plane, fighting knights, exploring an alien planet made of candy and lots more!
The jokes in the webshow sometimes revolves around them having no limbs. In the cartoon however they can move by hopping.
I think that's all I got for this time. Join me next time as I teach ballet to a class of mice. Try and guess that.
Toons These Days: Jake and the Never Land Pirates
(my Annoying Orange review will be coming out tonight at 7. Don't miss it!)
Doggy: Geez. And I thought Disney's interactive preschool junk were over. Cartoons are meant to entertain, not educate. They wrecked Mickey Mouse and now they ruined Peter Pan with a pointless rip off. And that pointless rip off is named Jake and the Never Land Pirates.
So it's about these kids named Jake, Izzy and Cubby who were marooned on an island. They grew into it and decided to stay. They are joined by their talking parrot Skully. Anyhoo, one day the nefarious Captain Hook plundered the island and even took it over. Remember, this is my own story, there was no pilot episode. The kids battled to the death with him and that old codfish fled with Mr. Smee and two random crew members named Sharky and Bones.
The whipper-snappers took over the island and randomly talk to nobody. That's what happens in some kids shows. And it looks like Pan was killed even though he returned as a spirit in two episodes. The kids friends include the seductive mermaid Marina, an idiot seal and many more. That's all I can think of since the others were so forgettable.
Rating, 2 doubloons out of 5. Glad it didn't make into a feature film! Or else it would've beaten all the other movies at the Oscars like winning every award in the show. Speaking of the Oscars, I gotta get ready.
Doggy: Geez. And I thought Disney's interactive preschool junk were over. Cartoons are meant to entertain, not educate. They wrecked Mickey Mouse and now they ruined Peter Pan with a pointless rip off. And that pointless rip off is named Jake and the Never Land Pirates.
So it's about these kids named Jake, Izzy and Cubby who were marooned on an island. They grew into it and decided to stay. They are joined by their talking parrot Skully. Anyhoo, one day the nefarious Captain Hook plundered the island and even took it over. Remember, this is my own story, there was no pilot episode. The kids battled to the death with him and that old codfish fled with Mr. Smee and two random crew members named Sharky and Bones.
The whipper-snappers took over the island and randomly talk to nobody. That's what happens in some kids shows. And it looks like Pan was killed even though he returned as a spirit in two episodes. The kids friends include the seductive mermaid Marina, an idiot seal and many more. That's all I can think of since the others were so forgettable.
Rating, 2 doubloons out of 5. Glad it didn't make into a feature film! Or else it would've beaten all the other movies at the Oscars like winning every award in the show. Speaking of the Oscars, I gotta get ready.
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