Tuesday, January 20, 2015

State of the Union

So I have to do another live-blog on yet another state of the Union address........yay.

IN THIS CORNER, MARCHING IN, THE PRESIDENT OF PRESENTERS, THE CHANCELLOR OF CHICAGO..........BARRRRRACK OBAMA!!!!!!! If I were the sergeant of arms, this is how I would introduce Obama. Complete with Balboa music.

15 years into this new century, eh?

Obama says the Afghanistan conflict is over.

We want an economy where a few people do spectacularly well, and one of those would be Scrooge McDuck.

And we have a lady in the audience who is from Minneapolis, Minnesota!

Sacrificed? Don't mind if I do! (starts roasting the creator of Brickleberry over a fire) I love the smell of Daniel Tosh bears over a fire in the evenin'.

Our younger students have excellent reading and math scores? Well I'm not doing so hot in math so how is Obama helping ME?

If a bill comes to my desk that is completely phooey, I will EAT IT!

So we want to contribute in America's success? Especially the greedy nutcases in this world? I'm all for that.

So now we have middle class economics. So we should stop treating childcare like a side issue! Does that mean us kids will actually get some respect in this world for once?

Sent a generation of G.Is to college. I wonder how many were named Joe?

Obama's plans for college proposals are 2 years free community college, expanding and funding technical training. That's pretty cool.

21st century companies need 21st century info-structure. So that's why Nintendo is doing perfectly okay! And also 21st century science and technology.As long as they don't expect me to contribute to the 21st century math.

Obama also mentions diabetes. Because....potatoes. (In loving memory of the Youtube channel of Mr. Enter. Because Viacom and Fox are greedy jerks.)

Tax reform proposals are........I don't got no jokes.

Our airstrikes against ISIS are skyrocketing in Iraq but still getting there in Syria.What's the answer?

I have no idea what everyone is saying! (pulls out a big toothy grin only to snicker seconds later)

And now we move on to climate change.

And on to more important things like accepting EVERYTHING: religions, sexuality, people, etc.

Obama is walking out through a parade of hugs and kisses and handshakes.

The commentators said this is the last State of the Union that anyone will pay attention to -- we will be in the midst of presidential elections the next time he speaks. And he will be on his way out the door.


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