Have Jokes

I had a good time at Have Dreams this week, especially in snack time. My mates and I were joking about a part of one of the Richard Scarry's Busytown games where the character Dr. Diane would always use bandages. Here are some of the highlights!

"Doctor, I split my pancreas!" "I'll put a bandage on it."

"Doctor, I have a brain tumor!" "I'll put a bandage on it."

"Doctor, some guy ripped my tongue out!" "Open wide. I'll put a bandage on it."

"I've been shot in the privates!" "I'll put a bandage on it."

"Doctor, I lost my leg when it was run over by some kid driving a pickup truck!" "I'll put a bandage on it."

Well as they say, that's all folks!

Reasons Ms. Diggins and family should move to Chicago

Ms. Diggins was my teacher last year, but she moved home to Buffalo to be near her mom and brothers and sisters. I think she should just move her whole family here and come back to teach me. Then her mom wouldn't miss her AND I wouldn't miss her!

Reasons to move to Chicago from Buffalo:

1.) Chicago Hot Dogs. Have you heard of Buffalo hot dogs? I don't think so.
2.) Lake Michigan is better than Lake Erie. Or maybe less polluted, anyhow.
3.) Patrick Kane is already IN Chicago!
4.) You can get Buffalo wings here, too.
5.) My grandpa is from Buffalo, and he moved to Chicago, so Chicago is the right choice.
6.) Does Buffalo even have a baseball team? I don't think so. We have two.
7.) I MISS HER!!!

Evidence clearly supports the entire Diggins family moving to Chicago.  As Jean-Luc Picard would say "make it so!"

NOTHING!!!!!!!!! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!!!

I just can't think of anything to write now, I suppose I can dish out an idea just to help. Here's one!


DISNEY BALL Z
Season 1: The Oswald Saga

Mickey Mouse as Goku
Elmer Mouse as Gohan
Minnie Mouse as Chi-Chi
Donald Duck as Krillin
Mortimer Mouse as Piccolo
Goofy as Tien Shinhan
Max as Chiaotzu
Peter Pan as Yamcha
Scrooge McDuck as Master Roshi
Ortensia as Bulma
Oswald as Vegeta
Pete as Nappa
Big Bad Wolf as Raditz
Jafar as Frieza (speaking cameo)
Thor as King Kai
Abu as Bubbles
Jiminy Cricket as Gregory
Captain Barbossa as Bojack (unseen)
Piglet as Oolong
Zeus as King Yemma
Walt Disney as Kami
(more on this some other time)

 

The song that's Hard to Make up

Our family enjoys making songs about each other, and tonight we're making one about Uncle John, yet very few things rhyme with John. Like long, gong, bong, song, dong, hong, tong, okay maybe there are things that rhyme with John.

Y'know, this tradition has been going on for quite a while that I have a feeling it'll stay for generations. But I'm just "Saiyan." (canned laughter) WOCKA WOCKA!

Still sick

I'm still sick, end of story.

Naw, just kidding! Anyway, I'm still sick because this cold has been around for a while but I am starting to feel better. And Dad is coming home Wednesday, woohoo!

Another topic I want to talk about is how I think the J-Pop industry will take over the world, and no I'm not crazy! Think of the game Azure Striker Gunvolt, where our hero who works for a resistance against some random evil corporation, discovers that the controller of a holographic pop star is actually a 13 year old girl. Think very hard on this one. Young girls are using their singing talent for their crazy fans and evil owners.

Now look back to Hatsune Miku of the Vocaloids, if anyone reading this would understand what I'm talking about. Now Vocaloids are computer-generated puppets that you can make sing and dance and Miku is one of them. Speaking of Miku, she, a holographic version of herself, once performed in front of a whole audience in Tokyo and it sold more tickets than the premiere of Guardians of the Galaxy!

Meanwhile in reality, one of the members of the J-Pop multi-group AKB48 was apparently caught by the press dating a random guy when the rules say any member of the group weren't allowed to! Now, they announced of new member that's the Japanese equivalent of Frankenstein's Monster! They're creating idols to control our brains, wallets and eventually the world! Play the game, look up the Miku concert on the Internet (I recommend the Kids React of that by the Fine Bros), look up the whole AKB48 thing and you'll understand what I just said. (sirens erupt) Oh great, it's the fuzz! Quick, assemble some heroes, stop this revolution and don't say I didn't warn you!

Sick!

I'm sick. I have a cold. My head hurts, my throat hurts, my nose is snoogy and life is dismal.  My mom is also sick. She was supposed to get up and go to a boot camp workout this morning, but instead we both stayed in bed.  Dismal, I tell you.

My dad is in Amsterdam and he is not sick, we hope. He comes home on Wednesday.

I hope this cold goes away by Friday. There's nothing worse than being sick on the weekend. You get two whole days off school, and you spend them feeling gross.

My brother Jack's birthday was yesterday. He turned 16. We were supposed to go out to dinner with Grandma and Uncle Sean, but I was sick, so we didn't go anywhere.  Right now we are talking about Homecoming and whether Jack will go to it. I said he should find a hot girl and ask her. Mom said I shouldn't talk like a sexist pig. I said I just want Jack to man up! I told Mom I'm maybe 30% pig. Jack says I am 100% pig. Mom says no boys of hers will be pigs of any kind.

Back to school

My mom went to my brother's back to school night tonight. But first she had something to do in the afternoon -- so my grandma picked up me and Jack. Then grandma got us turkey sandwiches for dinner. Mom went to Loyola to listen to the teachers blab about Jack's day.

I think they told her that Jack is sarcastic as usual, but very smart. And that they hope he will use his powers for good and not for evil. He should not become Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All.  I'm sure there was a lot more blah blah blah in there, but that's a good summary.