Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Midtown Singles

Plot: A non-married man, his son, his dog TD and his butler Fritz live in an apartment in New York City and try to hide a indoor pool from their landlord Ivan.

"Midtown Singles in: A Crockful of Cheese!"
Paul: Bert, I'm home.
Bert: Daddy! You're home!
TD: (barking)Fritz: I knew you would come back, Master Paul.
Paul: Now let's all relax to a nice…..
Ivan: (banging on door) Open up! I know you're hiding a pool and a butler!
Paul: Oh no! It's Ivan! Bert, close the pool door! Fritz, run to your bedroom and hide!
Bert: Where's that pool off button? Oh, here it is. (presses pool off button)Computer: Closing pool.
Fritz: (panting) I've got to hide in my bedroom! (runs in bedroom, closes door)Ivan: (slams door open) Where's the pool and butler?!
Paul: We don't have one of those. And I payed for that door when I moved here!
Bert: Daddy, I'm scared.
Ivan: If I see you with a butler and a pool for real. I'll boot you people out of this building forever! (slams door)Paul: That was close. (canned laughing)
Bert: What about dinner Daddy?
Fritz: I'll get the cheese. (opens cupboard) Hmm. Where's the cheese?
Bert: TD did it. He was hungry.
TD: (in human voice) I was really hungry.
Paul: I didn't know TD can talk.
TD: It was the cheese.
Fritz: The cheese is radioactive. And it accidently fell in some toxic waste.
Paul: Hmm. There's always great cheese on the Moon.
Fritz: We can build a rocket that can take us there.
Bert: Let's do it. I can supply apple juice for fuel. Daddy can get parts from the junkyard.
Fritz will find out the distance to the moon and design the rocket and TD can find the perfect launch site.
All 3: Let's do it!
(8:00pm)All: Done!
Fritz: And the energy source will be the radioactive cheese.
Paul: Let's go. Launching in 20…..19……..18…….17….
All: (board rocket)
Paul: Whatever. 10…..9…..8….. Forget the countdown. TD. Light the fuse.
TD: Okay. (lights fuse)
Paul: (boards rocket) Oh no. We're going to need some bread and butter.
Fritz: Ignition.
(5 hours later)
Fritz: The moon. So facinating.
Bert: Let's get cheese.
TD: Okay.
Robot: Unattended rocket. Fine: 100 dollars.
(a couple minutes later)
Paul: We collected cheese from the moon and it's really made of cheese.
TD: Let's go home.
(rocket blasts off, back at home)
Paul: Finally. A nice dinner.
Fritz: And the wonderful thing about cheese is they are so delicous.
(The End, meanwhile….)
(strange noises)
Paul: Hey Ivan. You in there? Hello……yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I'm telling on you, Ivan!

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