Thursday, December 20, 2012

Big Al

Big Al is an announced character in Epic Mickey 3.

History

Big Al was once a member of the Country Bears band. In his backstory, it has been revealed that Mickey used to go to their concerts. Sadly, nobody went to them anyone because many animal experts say that they're wild. Zoo keepers took the rest of the band to the wilderness but Al who got sent into the Wasteland. He then opened a pizza shop on Mean Street and hired Figment (from the Journey into Imagination ride) as his delivery boy.

Remeeting a longtime fan

When Mickey, Oswald and Gus arrive at the pizza shop, Al was elated to see the mouse again after a long time. After telling his backstory, he told the three that he got a lot of orders from all over Wasteland. They needed a loan to get into the Sunken Steamer nightclub. He gives you a quest to deliver the pizzas to the right customers.

Big Al's Pizza Delivery

The customers are as followed.
Os Town: Pirate Moody, Animatronic Goofy, Clarabelle Cow
Bog Easy: Animatronic Donald, Lonesome Ghosts
Ventureland: Mr. Smee, Animatronic Daisy
Mean Street: Horace Horsecollar
After you finish the deliveries, you return to the pizza shop and Al will give you a Pin, a Film Reel, a Power Spark, some cloth and 30 E-Tickets.

Big Al's Pizza Shop

Big Al's Pizza Shop is a Mean Street location in Epic Mickey 3.
The exterior of the building has a red and yellow striped awning. The window have a poster of sightseeing tours at Dark Beauty Castle. Above the door is a sign with a pizza shaped like a bear saying "Eat at Big Al's"

Staff

Owner and cashier: Big Al
Delivery Boy: Figment
Head Chef: Clara Cluck
Frycook: Gremlin Jamface

Food

  • Pizza
  • Cheeseburgers
  • French Fries
  • Chicken Wings
  • Ice Cream
  • Tacos
  • Hot Dogs
  • Spaghetti and Meatballs
  • Soda
  • Juice
  • Milk

Bum Reviews: Super Why

While our favorite homeless bum is at a restaurant, he reviews one of the shows that boil my blood: Super Why.

Bum: THIS IS THE WORST SHOW I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!

The power to..SPOILERS!

Bum: So there is this itsy bitsy town behind a bookshelf called Storybrooke Village. And no, it's not the one in Once Upon a Time. This is different! There are these bratty kids named uh....Whyey, Red, Pea and Pig. You guessed it. Pea is a toilet and Pig is a pig. I was once a pig, Porky did not like me.

So every time there's a problem that has nothing to do with our lives, they go to this place called the Book Club that is hidden in the woods. They would display what happened on this giant Macbook and transform into these Justice League ripoffs.

Whyey would turn into a green Superman. Red would turn into a roller skater wearing a swimsuit, Pea turned into a tiara wearing toilet and Pig would turn into a construction worker who has been mutated into a pig! I was once a handyman, Bob the Builder didn't like my buildings.

So they fly into these books using mini Batwings and guess what, the books have nothing to do with Disney movies! Like, Rapunzel is a blonde when in here, she's a brunette. The mermaid isn't named Ariel and she does not have red hair. And the Genie from Aladdin is supposed to be blue, not green and wear clothes.

I don't like the fact that they usually make up stories. Where's Peter Pan? Where's The Lion King? Even where's Roger Rabbit?!

They also change the stories so nothing bad happens. They also killed off the baddies of the stories. Like Jafar, Ursula and everyone else. They also change the plot to make them more sympathetic like while the Prince is having a soccer party, Sleeping Beauty is a sleep addict.

After they leave the stories, they display the solution to the problem and then they go into a emo dance! I once got into an emo dance, emos didn't like me.

After that, they never speak of it again. I wonder what their parents would say?

"Whyey, did you change the book I'm reading? It was supposed to say an evil sea witch turned Ariel into a human so she can be with a prince when it says that she is too shy to play wih humans because she's a mermaid. What was going on?"

"Me and my friends are secretly superheroes that go into books and change their stories."

 Waiter: Excuse me sir! What would you like to order.'

Bum: I would like a cheese and ham burger.

So anyway, in the next season a dog joins them and his name is Woofey! I couldn't make it out because he was voiced by a girl. And that is my honest to trash review of Superman, I mean Super Why!

Waiter: Here's your cheese and ham burger sir. Tell me if you want a drink.

Bum: I like some soda please.

(the waiter gives him Coco Cola)

This is Chester A. Bum saying: CHANGE! ANYONE GOT ANY CHANGE? I WANT TO JUMP INTO BOOKS AND CHANGE THEIR STORIES!

Seriously, Super Why was bad. Even worse than the Looney Tunes Show.










 

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

This is serious

Christmas is in less than a week and there is NO SNOW. I am doing a ritual to make it snow and I hope it works! Last night I wore my pajamas inside out, slept with a spoon under my pillow and flushed an ice cube down the toilet before bed. My mom read on the internet that this makes it snow. IT BETTER SNOW. Mom said I may have to do this ritual for a couple nights. Dad says it sounds satanic, with the inside out pajamas, but I don't think so. I don't think spoons are Satanic.

Come on SNOW!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Toonland

When I got home from school today, I had an idea to draw a map of my cartoon world, called Toonland.  Toonland is a city founded in 1927 by Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. Over the years, many cartoon characters have moved to Toonland. Toonland is also home to the Forgotten Ones -- like Clarabelle Cow and Horace Horsecollar.

The toon citizens live everyday lives in Toonland. Some go to school, some go to work, some goof off. Mostly crazy things happen in Toonland, like a predicted earthquake and anvils falling from the sky. Hans Moleman holds the record for getting hit with an anvil the most times -- 320 times over the course of his life!

Someday I would like to take my Toonland idea and make it into a real cartoon. Maybe an animated series or movie. I have lots of Toonland screenplays on my computer, so when Hollywood comes knocking, I'll be ready!

Also, Toonland is located outside of New York City and is guarded by a brick wall.

In other news, my dad went to China, came home from China and went to Green Bay, then came home from Green Bay and went to Indianapolis. We went to the Misericordia Christmas Brunch without him. That is bad and good. Bad because it's less fun without Dad, but good because he doesn't like to go to the gift shop but Mom and Grandma do! I hope Dad comes home soon so we can get our Christmas tree.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

School is a grim prison

I have one more day of school this week and I don't think I'll make it! School is a prison where they torture you and they don't let you out. Then you get two days off for good behavior and they make you go back -- never to be seen again! It's horrible. My mom says I need to tough it out through tomorrow. Easy for HER to say.

On thr bright side, tomorrow is Santa's Workshop. I'm bringing money to shop for all my family and friends. I'm even buying something for my best friend Ryan G. I hope he comes back from Arizona to visit over Christmas.

Today was St. Nicholas' Day. Last night I put out shoes for me and my brother Jack. I filled them with carrots for the reindeer. This morning the carrots were gone and me and Jack both got books and some candy. I got a Big Nate book and Jack got a book by Stephen Colbert. We both got a dvd of A Muppet Christmas Carol. Jack is the stage manager for A Christmas Carol at his school and I just like the Muppets.

St Nick's Day rules, school DROOLS.


Saturday, December 1, 2012

Toons These Days: Wreck It Ralph (my version)

 
“Toons these Days: Wreck It Ralph”

Doggy: Hey Disney, what’s up with you? First you make a cartoon about kids with shapes for heads, buy about 4,000 superheroes, make a show about Fred from Scooby Doo and a female Jim Carrey solving mysteries and now you officially quit making hand drawn and fairytale movies to make this? That’s just weird. Anyway, I know what you’re thinking, “What? Doggy D Dachshund is reviewing a movie instead of ranting on a modern cartoon?” Actually, yeah. I decided to quit ranting to review this. Okay, what’s the story?

Well, it’s about this guy named Wreck-It Ralph who is the bad guy of the arcade game “Fix It Felix Jr.” and he is sick of not being accepted by the people around him and decides to become a good guy. The only people that accept him for who he is are more video game bad guys in a support group like Bowser, Dr. Eggman, Clyde, M. Bison and many more.

When he comes home, he learns that the Nicelanders are celebrating the game’s 30th anniversary and he wasn’t invited. The offspring of Mario and Bob the Builder, Fix It Felix, has a chat with Ralph outside his apartment.

At the game “Tapper”, he meets a character from the FPS game “Hero’s Duty” and decides to take his place. He game jumps, in which his buddy Q-Bert sees and warns the characters at Fix It Felix Jr.

If you’re wondering what they mean, I’ll give you some info. Once upon a time, there was this game called “Turbo Time” and it was so hot. Until another racing game came in and the lead character of the other game named Turbo was mad! Mad, I say! So he decides to win back his popularity by jumping into the game. This caused the unplugging of both games but Turbo escaped his death.

Anyway, there is this commander lady named Sergeant Calhoun who leads the army in getting rid of Cy-Bugs. Cy-Bugs are these robot insects that were born in a freak accident. And remember, they become anything they eat! Anyway, since Ralph is a coward, the game is over. He then learns from his work at Fix It Felix Jr that Felix always gets a medal and that there's a medal in the tower that the player has to get to. Once at the tower, he avoids stepping on the Cy-Bug eggs and gets the medal.

But he steps on one of the eggs and gets launched into the racing game “Sugar Rush” where he meets Vanellope Von Schweetz, who is like if you mix Bugs Bunny with the Three Stooges, Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse in a blender, add in some candy-related puns and you got this character. She steals Ralph's medal thinking that it's a coin to get her in an after hours race. But King Candy, the ruler screws her because she's a glitch. The others racers destroy her kart and Ralph agrees to help her make a new one.

Meanwhile, Felix and Calhoun search for Ralph in Sugar Rush but get trapped in Nesquik-sand. After escaping with the help of some Laffy Taffy vines, they awkwardly fall in love. So wait, a guy from one world meets and falls in love with a girl from another world? Where did I hear that before? Oh well.
Back to the main plot, Ralph and Vanellope sneak into “Bake-a-Car Mode” which is apparently a minigame. Her car comes out pretty good but King Candy goes after them and Vanellope doesn’t know how to drive so Ralph teaches her the ropes.

Back on to Fix-It and the Commander. He’s really getting on her nerves ever since they got out of the milk-sand. After Felix calls her a “dynamite gal”, we get a shocking moment of Calhoun’s past where she was going to get married to scientist Brad Scott but he got eaten by a Cy-Bug. Kinda like me, except my wife was taken by a bear. And that guy owes me big time! Anyway, she drops off Felix at King Candy’s castle and is taken to the Fungeon by his henchman Sour Bill as a trap under the welcome mat. Anyway, Candy arrives to see Ralph as he tells that if Vanellope is in a race and the player sees her glitching, the game will be unplugged and she will die. Wow, dark. More skipping some parts later and the race begins. Ralph threatens to eat Sour Bill, because he’s candy, into telling him the truth that King Candy yanked Vanellope from the game’s code and locked up all the racers and citizens’ memories. Anyhoo, the Cy-Bugs from Hero’s Duty come in and start attacking while Candy reveals his true identity to the glitch……Turbo! (dun dun dun!) So Calhoun, Felix and Ralph ward off the bugs while Vanellope is still racing and Turbo is eaten and becomes a Cy-Bug!

Conroy: Whoa! That’s kinda scary. I’ll just be quiet for a minute.

Doggy: So anyway, like Hero’s Duty, there has to be a beacon that can attract the bugs and kill them! They are bugs after all. Ralph heads to Diet Cola Mountain and creates a volcano out of cola and Mentos, attracting the bugs and Turbo, killing them one and for all. (unenthusiastic) Hooray, there’s all dead.

Felix restores the finish line making Vanellope crossing it and revealing her to be the princess of Sugar Rush. Does that Candy was her father?

Darth Vader: Rip-off!

Doggy: May I remind that Disney already bought Lucasfilms? There are two attractions in the Disney theme parks based on Star Wars and Indiana Jones! Anyway, Felix and Calhoun get married; Ralph finally becomes a hero and keeps his job as a villain and they lived happily high score ever after. But what about Q-Bert and friends, you may ask? They got accepted into Fix-It Felix Jr. as a bonus level. So what are my thoughts? It was good, but some of the jokes didn’t make sense to me. Since this has a theme of arcade games, I give it 4 quarters out of five. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go get my wife back and introduce that bear to my AK-47, Norm.